Gale....A strong wind

Life Changes

2012-02-08T10:21:00.004-07:00

So I know you have all been anxiously awaiting my most recent post. "Where did she go??" You were all thinking. Well I promise I have had good reason to not be blogging. Well I do right now, but I"m blogging anyway. A. and I are preparing to take in foster kids. There is a lot more going into it than I ever imagined there would be.

So that's part of the reason I'm posting. I need your help. I hate asking for donations, but this is a chunk of change to hit straight up. Hubby and I live fine on my salary, but I don't think we could have ever been prepared for what basically equates to having everything for a kid form infancy to teenager all at once. I set up a website, that you can make donations through.

http://www.gofundme.com/eg1h0 <----Donate here!! Help the kids! Care when they can't!

I don't want this to be just a donation, so how about this. Lets make it a contest. I have a business called Memorable Moments...In Motion. Yes you can see the link to my facebook page to the left. What I do with this business, is I create slideshows of your most treasured pictures and I set them to music. This comes with custom transitions and a customized menu. I have packages ranging from basic all the way up to Deluxe. Some of the favorite features of the deluxe package are customized special effects transitions between images, custom title effects, opening and closing titles, text extras (photo captions or transitional text such as poetry or verses) and customized movie like motions (such as pan and scan) The base package price for the deluxe is $115 That is for 20-50 Images. What I'm offering here is 151-200 images and 6-8 songs to be put into a custom package JUST. FOR. YOU. That's a value of $350.

PLEASE NOTE: A donation is not required for entry. It will get you an extra entry, but you don't have to. There are several ways you can enter.

1. Follow my blog. You will, of course, have to let me know.

2. Make a donation (any amount will get you an additional entry)

3. Post about this contact, and include a link to either my blog, or my donation site, and leave a comment with a link to your post on my blog!

4. Post on Facebook and tag me. Include my blog link and/or a link to the donation site.

I will post the winner on March 1st. I know it's a ways out, so I will try to keep interest going. You are all wonderful and I love you! Thanks for your love and support!

Day 10 of 30

2011-10-18T18:56:00.002-06:00

If you want a lit of the full list of 30 days of truth, click here

Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

This isn't really a fair question. I don't know. Maybe it is. But generally if I need to let someone go, I do. I can't think of anyone who is actually IN my life that shouldn't be here. It is what it is.

Day 9 of 30

2011-10-11T08:21:00.004-06:00

To veiw the full list click here

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

To everything there is a season. I know that sounds kind of harsh, but things are what they are. I believe that people come into your life for a specific purpose. It's part of your experience to make you who you need to be. You react to them and love them while they are there, and try to learn from them. Hold tight if you want to keep them, if you can't keep them, thank Heavenly Father for the time they were there.

There are friends that I've drifted from, whom I still love dearly, that if we were to sit down, I honesty believe that we could just pick up where we left off. There are others that it's so awkward with, it's hard to believe we were ever friends. But if your reading this your more likely in that first category, and I love you for it!

Day 8 of 30

2011-10-08T12:39:00.003-06:00

To view the entire list of 30 days of truth Click Here

I bet you thought I'd forgotten about this. You did?! Well I didn't forget. Quite the opposite in fact. I've been thinking about this post for a long time. It's probably the most difficult one on the list, partly because there are so many emotions tied to it. Shame, Rage, frustration. Did I mention shame?

Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like crap.

It's a struggle. Something I've been dealing with for a long time. I don't know how to write about it, and so this post might suck, but oh well. I'm not getting paid to do this, it's just the random thoughts of a rambling woman.

Everyone you come in contact with has the potential to make your life difficult. Sometimes it's your choice to let them sometimes it's not. I think the thing that I allowed to make my live crappy was bullies. They come from everywhere, and it dosen't matter who you are 97% of people either were a bully, have seen someone bullied or were the victim. I was the latter, and I let myself continue to be one for a long time. I'm still trying to overcome the taunts I heard, both from people I really cared about and people I really disliked. In high school I was 5' 8'' and weight in at approximately 165. I was a little bit chubby, but I don't think I would have considered myself fat, had I not been told that's what I was. I had little to no self esteem, a problem which I still struggle with. The echos of tubo, tub of lard, lardo, whale lady and every other "fat" name you can think of still ring in my ears at night.

I try to believe my husband when he says I'm beautiful, and he loves me the way I am, but I still never feel quite good enough. I let these people infect me SO completely that Everything I was and am needed approval of complete strangers in order to feel like I was worth anything, and even then I was better off if no one knew who I was, or that I was alive. I have a hard shell around me. I don't trust others with my feelings, and you have to try really hard to get to know me. The REAL me. The real me is terrified, and determined to fit into a little box that can stack neatly with all the other little boxes. So that's what shows. A neat little box, that gets neater all the time, and prays that no one will open the box and see what a mess is inside.

Day 7 of 30

2011-08-21T08:08:00.004-06:00

For the full list of 30 days of truth, click here

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.

This is one of our engagement photos. Hubby has been the light of my life for the past three-plus years. He loves me unconditionally, even when I'm crazy. Which, if I were honest, I would have to admit that it was most of the time. When I'm feeling stressed he figures out what will calm me down and works hard to make sure thats done. When I feel like crying he makes me laugh.

More importantly he still looks at me the same way he did when he first met me. He never tires of telling me how beautiful I am, and with someone who has a history of low self esteem, that's oober important. He looks at me like he is amazed.

He is my best friend and my rock. He helps me be strong when I just want to break down and cry.

I love you Hubby!

Day 6 of 30

2011-08-18T13:07:00.002-06:00

Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

wow. This is like what's your deepest fear and I feel somewhat exposed. But I promised the truth, and the truth is what I will give. To tell the truth about this I have to go back before I was even born.

I have two older sisters. Kendra is the one I know. She is an awesome big sister. The other one, Dionne, we don't talk about much. She only lived for about six weeks. When I was younger, I remember celebrating her birthday with angel food cake, because she was mommy's angel. My mom's heart stayed broken. She was always there for us, and was the best Mom in the world. Still is. If I'm feeling broken down she's there for me. But, I always wondered what would be different if my sister had lived.

So the thing I hope I never have to do is bury a child. I can't imagine the grief my mother went through. I mourn because we are having a hard time having a child and I don't know if I could handle having a baby in my arms, and looking at her angel face and knowing that they are mine, and having that child just gone. No parent should have to bury their child. I have a couple of friends who are angel mommies and I see how much they hurt. I pray that I NEVER EVER EVER have to bury a child.

Day 5 of 30

2011-08-15T14:13:00.003-06:00

For the full list of 30 days click here

Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.

Wow the list goes on and on with this one. There really isn't enough hours in a day (or a week for that matter) to give a complete answer to this one. I hope for a lot of things.

My biggest hope right now, the thing I want most to do, is to be a mom. Not just to be a mom but to be a great mom. A mom who is at all of her kids performances, or games, or meets or whatever.

I want to be a soccer mom. I want to be there cheering for the little toots, and I want to be there when they get home from school and be able to help them with their homework. Except math (can we say tutor?) I want to read them stories and sing songs with them. I want to take them to church and teach them about Jesus, and about the wonderful plan that our Heavenly Father has for us.

I hope to be there when they say their first word, and take their first steps. All the wonderful firsts and even the crappy ones. I want to be there for them when they first have their heart broken, and when they first fall in love. I hope to be there when they find that one person who they want to spend eternity with. I WANT them to tell me they hate me (isn't that how you know your boundaries are working?) I want to be there every step of the way for the little nudgers, and I want it more than anything I can think of. I want it so bad it's hard to breath sometimes.

It's not something I have control over so I just have to be patient, and do my best to do my best with what I have. For now, I will be a loving aunt, sister, wife, daughter, cousin and granddaughter to those amazing people I call my family, and keep holding tight to hope.

Day 4 of 30

2011-08-14T14:08:00.002-06:00

For the full 30 day list click here

Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.

I'm a grudge holder. I hate to say it. I hold on to grudges as hard as I hold on to friends. So join in my friends circle, and stay off my bad side.

This being said, there are a lot of things that I need to let go of, a lot of things I need to forgive.

I can remember exactly what was said in one instance, that cut me to the core. Two of the most popular boys in school were having a contest to see who could have the most girlfriends. One of them asked me out and I said no. They asked why and I said "Because I"m not stupid" meaning I thought they were making fun of me. I was eating lunch later that day and they both came to sit by me and began discussing this contest (like I wasn't there) and one of the boys turned to the other (the one who had asked me to be his girlfriend) and told him that he was obviously the winner because he couldn't even get 'her' to go out with him. Like I was low, desperate and pathetic.

Yeah that was in middle school, and I'm still holding on to this like it was this morning. Why do I do this??? They don't know. They probably don't even remember that conversation. It doesn't hurt them, they don't care. It only hurts me. That's how it is for most of the stuff I need to forgive. Letting go is a lot harder than holding on. It takes a strong person. I'm not strong. I'm just me. BUT I can become strong. One lost grudge at a time.

Day 3 of 30

2011-08-08T09:57:00.003-06:00

For the full 30 days of truth list click here

I NEVER said it would be 30 consecutive days did I? HA! so I'm busy....and tired.

Something I have to forgive myself for.

PCOS. It's not my fault, it's something I have to deal with and something that my body has. Yet I feel totally responsible for it. I don't know if I've always had it, or if my weight gain has caused it. You'd think that if that were the case, it would go away with weightloss.

News Flash. PCOS doesn't go away. On top of that it makes it almost impossible to loose wait, and very difficult to conceive. It's a vicious cycle and something I have to look myself in the face and tell myself over and over, this is not your fault. Forgive and move on. Do what you can to make things better, or make things work as best as you...no I can.

It's not something I should HAVE to forgive myself for....but it is something I NEED to forgive myself for. Infertility sucks, especially when you know it's you.

Day 2 of 30

2011-08-03T16:27:00.005-06:00

For the full list of 30 days of truth, Click Here

Day 02

HA! I bet you thought I'd already forgotten. Nope, this is one of those things that is really hard to do. you see it's easy to pick on yourself, not so easy to brag about yourself.

Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.

Something I love about myself....

I love my loyalty. I am not an easy person to get to know. There are a lot of walls and I am quite guarded. I let very few people in entirely, but if you do manage to make it into my circle of trust, you have to do something pretty intense to get out of it, and even then it will probably take me years to realize that I've been damaged by it.

I'm not one who lets go of friends easily, and if I grow to love you I will fight for you until the day I die. I will protect you with my life. If I love you you are no longer just a friend, you are family, and NOTHING is more important to me than my family.

So I'm a little intense. It's part of who I am :) Deal with it. Or don't. It's up to you.

Day 1 of 30

2011-08-02T09:10:00.005-06:00

Click here for the entire 30 Days of Truth list.

Day 1

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.

Something I hate about myself....my insecurity. I hate that I can't be confident. I NEED validation. I can't just think, hey I wrote this story and it's pretty awesome. I have to show it off and have everyone tell me it's good before I believe it is.

It's not just my writing though. It's everything about me. My looks, my voice, my value as a person and a woman. I've had a lot of people tell me I'm beautiful. Hubby tells me at least twice a day. And yet I look in the mirror and I don't see it.

I see every flaw I have. Every pimple, every stray hair, every GRAY hair, every extra pound of Fat. It's like I have an ugly mask on and I can't see this person everybody keeps telling me about.

WHY is it so much easier to believe the bad stuff than it is to believe the good?

Maybe I should take a hint from Selena Gomez....

30 days of truth

2011-08-02T07:58:00.016-06:00

My friend Kim over at Live, Laugh, Love Your Guts is doing this. I thought it was cool, and since I'm a follower, I thought I'd follow suit. 30 days of absolute truth. I will tell you exactly what I think, and you can get a pretty good idea of who I am. If, after the 30 days you decide we are to ideologically different, I will not be offended if you unfollow me. unless you are family. Then I will be DEEPLY wounded. I may never recover.

30 Days of Truth

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Back to Friday Confessional

2011-07-22T08:04:00.002-06:00

I confess....

That I have been super whiney this week. I've had good cause, but I kinda feel bad for everyone around me.

I confess.....

I haven't started packing yet. We move in one month and 4 days and the only things that are packed. It's like I think that if I just don't do it it will do itself. Where's Hermione when you need her???

I confess.....

I have decided I'm a stress junkie. If I'm not stressed, I'm asleep. I worry about everything. If I can't find something to worry about I worry about what's going to happen next. It's a problem I'm not sure how to fix.

I confess...

I can't remember anything. Seriously. I sit in front of the computer and will be typing and just forget what I was saying. I will reread the sentence about 20 times and still have no idea. It happens when I'm talking to and it drives Hubby nuts. Today I also lost my glasses.*sigh* It's gonna be one of those days.

The sweetest husband in the world.

2011-07-17T22:19:00.003-06:00

Noneya says

Your Eyes
Your mysterious eyes,
so deep, so hurt.
They draw me in,
and strip my soul of it's secrets.
Eyes so full of life,
full of fire,
full of passion,
and it burns me, fills me up.
I drink of it, and yet,
they are soft, so very kind;
Pools of liquid fire,
they ignite my desire.
I could drown in their tenderness.
Your mysterious eyes.

Adam Stephen Gale

Adam wrote me that poem before we got married. He's always been really good about being romantic.

So this past week has been bad. Like really bad. I was terrified that I was gonna lose my job and It's just been one thing after another. So Adam went out of his way to be good and kind and take care of me. Saturday morning I woke up to this:

The card plays "Lean on me." He was reminding me that I'm not in this on my own. How amazing is he? Thanks Hubby!!! I love you!

Friday Confessional

2011-07-08T08:07:00.002-06:00

I confess....

It's Adams birthday, and I don't have a gift for him. Not because I haven't thought about it, or I forgot. I've been thinking and worrying about it all month. Gifts are huge for me.

I confess....

We got the house near my parents!!!! We are super excited. Every penny we have is tied up in the move, and will be for the next fourish months. So hubby has to wait, but I hate it.

I confess....

I made a cake yesterday for hubby's birthday today. It's delish. I am JUST that awesome. I'm fixin to make a pasta salad tomorrow for hubby's family reunion. I'm excited. It should be a lot of fun. Hubby's Mom's Family is loud and crazy and fun. I am all over this. The kids should have a blast.

I confess.....

I haven't o'd yet. I was expecting it to happen 5 days after finishing clomid. Maybe that wasn't realistic. I'm crossing my fingers that my body is just behind schedule. It would be awesome if I could be preggo before we move!

Iiiiiiiits FRIDAY (confessional)

2011-07-01T08:04:00.002-06:00

I confess....

We are taking a spur-o-the-moment trip down to southern Utah. To look at a house down there. Not to buy (yet) but definitely to rent. It's perfect....from what we know.

I keep waiting for the "other shoe to drop" Something that's gonna be SERIOUSLY wrong. The house is three bedroom two bath. Two blocks from my sister and four from my parents. I would be in my sister's ward. There's no yard car because the house is landscaped with rocks. There's an RV pad on the side. It's within our price range. The landlord is amazing. Sooo when things are to good to be true they usually are....so what exactly is wrong with his.

I confess.....

I'm more excited than I should be about this. The trip the house....everything. We haven't been approved yet, but ummm...yeah.

I confess....

I'm not excited about trying to pack all of our belongings into a 16 foot trailer. Last time we had a 24' but there was about 4 feet extra room. It's gonna be tiiiiiiiiiiiight. But in the end it will be worth it. We will have gotten rid of a lot of stuff and be in a house (hopefully).

The sweetest man in the world

2011-06-25T16:09:00.002-06:00

Because I am going through progesterone withdraw (don't worry it's doctor prescribed) It's been a rough week with a lot of emotions and pain has ended up with me curled up in the fetal position crying more than once.

Adam has been so amazing to take care of me. His teasing has dropped to a minimum, which is hard for him, I know. I haven't had to cook once this week. When I dropped my mango pineapple smoothie and lost about 2/3 of it he offered to share his shake with me. Now Most of you don't know this, but Adam has pretty much give up sweets entirely. He hardly ever even drinks soda, but he indulged yesterday. And because I was about to cry because I was just that frustrated, he was gonna share his treat with me.

Because of everything, I'm not sleeping well. I wake up and walk around the house or take a bath two or three times a night (a hot pad would be awesome right now) and I'm so tired when I go to work I can hardly keep my eyes open. This morning it was even worse because I had to get up early to make sure I got everything done before I went into work. Well I woke up and showered and went to get some clean clothes out of the dryer and I saw a Krispy Kreme "Doughnuts Hot Now" sign on my door. I first thought, that's such a mean thing to do. Because Adam once told me that he would happily get me pictures of a doughnut. So I walked by in a huff, and then remembered all that he's done this week so I detoured into the office and found some fresh as you can get them at 7:30 AM Krispy Kreme doughnut holes on my desk. I went in and kissed my sleeping husband on the head.

I got cross with him the other day and told him he's not the one who has to take all the pills and go through all this garbage to have a kid...He looked at me really sad and said "No, I just have to watch you go through it, and there's nothing I can do to help"

How did I end up with such a sweet, kind, loving, supportive, fun (I could go on and on) and HOT husband???? (you should see his muscles.....drool) I am truly blessed.

Adam, you are an amazing man to put up me like this. Thank you. And I love you for ever and ever and ever and NEVER EVER STOP!!!!

Another friday confessional

2011-06-24T09:09:00.005-06:00

I confess....

I thought when I was done with progesterone I would stop being ornery. SURPRISE!!!! No. Now I'm even more ornery...and in Pain. And out of Twix. Adam is hiding from me because I've turned from THIS:

Into this:

and within seconds this:

It's intense. Poor Adam. Pity him. There is nothing he can do when these "fits" start. And I'm not even pregnant yet. Yikes.

I confess....

I have a strong desire to go camping....random, I know. But I've been aching to be outside. I spend so much time inside for work that I just want to be outside. Camping, and bon fire. Roasting Hot Dogs and marshmallows. mmmm....smores.

Friday Confessional

2011-06-17T08:12:00.002-06:00

I confess....

I will be super glad when the progesterone is done.
I feel like garbage and my impulse control is very low.

I confess....

I can't wait to start clomid. I just have this feeling...you know like it won't be too much longer until I can feel a little nudger swimming around and doing acrobatics in my belly.

I confess...

I was a little relieved when Adam asked me not to come with him to the state delegate's meeting tomorrow. There is some high tension legislation being voted on. I'm worried about his safety. Keep him in your prayers!

I confess...

I can't wait to move. I'm tired of being cold. We still aren't positive about where we are going to move, but we have a good idea.

I confess....

If I didn't have to work this morning I would be going back to bed. No lie. Well I don't think I would be out of bed. Yes....I am that tired.

Soooo.....what's your confession?

Baby Hold On....

2011-06-12T20:52:00.005-06:00

For those of you who don't know Adam and I have been trying to have a baby pretty much since we got married. We haven't had any success. A great thank you to my Doctor, Jill Faatz, MD, I was finally dosed with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). So we had somewhere to go. A path we could take. I was also diagnosed, you may or may not remember, with type 2 diabetes. So to kill two birds with one stone we started on Metformin (glucophage). So my blood sugar quickly improved (with the help of diet and exercises), but the Metformin wasn't giving us the results we wanted. So back to Dr. F. She gave me a choice this time. My blood sugar is good enough that she asked if I wanted to start on clomid, or if I wanted to keep going with the Metformin.

Well, if you know me, I'm patient, but I've been waiting a long time. I shyly begged for the clomid which we filled yesterday. But before we can get to the clomid we have to go through the (dun dun dun) progesterone phase. Not everyone understands what this means. Let me tell you. It turns a perfectly lovely, normal, fun to be around person from this:

Into this:

Ornery, sensitive, bloated, cranky and generally unpleasant to be around. Sorry Adam, I do love you. Doc told us this would happen, and I should cut myself some slack. Who's gonna cut Adam some slack? He's told me that he's going to carry around twixes and open them like a grenade and throw it at me, and then run, if I got too ornery. I laughed...and kind of hoped he was serious. yummmm chocolate. So if this all goes down the way it's supposed to, Adam will still be alive, and fairly unscathed, I will have my chocolate and we will come out the other side with a cute little human addition to our family.

Wish us luck!

Confessional!

2011-06-10T08:15:00.003-06:00

I confess....

I went to the doctor yesterday and pretty much begged her for Clomid. I've been thinking about it for months. We can't get to Walmart (which is the only affordable place since it's not covered by insurance) until tomorrow, so I will start progesterone pills on Sunday.

I confess....

I'm absolutely terrified. I'm dying to have a baby, and I can't wait to be pregnant. It's the giving birth part that really scares me. I have all these 'what ifs' in my brain.

What if I'm not a good mom?
What if I'm not REALLY ready for this?
What if it's TWINS??? (There is a higher likelihood since I'm older AND taking Clomid)
What if I can't deal with the pain of childbirth?
What if it DOESN'T work?

And yes, I am a worry wart.

I confess....

I'm not really looking forward to the progesterone part either. 10 days of bloating, moodiness, weight gain and all that other stuff that comes with PMS. So there will probably be a lot of crying. Sounds fun, right? Adam has told me he will be keeping bits of chocolate with him to throw at me when I get too crazy. I think he may end up trying to sleep through most of it. I know I want to.

Another friday confessional

2011-06-03T07:55:00.002-06:00

I confess...

I hate Fridays. Really. They are my hardest day of work. I have more to do and less time to do it in. I looked at the steam coming off the pool and almost called in sick today. I REALLY don't want to be at work. Confessing is the best part of my day.

I confess...

After eating no sugar and very little fat for the past 10 days Adam and I went to Golden Corall last night. My body is not happy. My tongue was VERY happy. It was super yummy. But I'm not sure it was worth the gut wrenching pain that has been my life ever since.

I confess...

Without Adam I would be lost. I would never work out, I would eat whatever I wanted and I would be super hard on myself. He is kind and loving and wonderful. I love that he not only protects me from the outside world, but he protects me from me, when I'm being awful to myself. He is fabulous and I'm sure I'm the luckiest girl in the world.

friday confessional

2011-05-27T08:04:00.002-06:00

If I only blog once a week it's the Friday confessional hummm....

-I confess I did the hardest workout I've ever done this week.
-It only lasted 10 minutes. But it as 10 minutes of pain.
-I can already see more definition in my arms and legs.

-I confess I ate toast this morning....and it made me sick.
-What the....I thought toast was supposed to make your stomach settle?

-I confess that I'm a whiner. Seriously
-Ask my husband.
-When I have to eat a protein bar I Wail loudly. They are awful
-I've considered actually PRETENDING to eat them and just throwing them away
-Like I'm 5
-The only reason I haven't is my hubby is a good sport, and has been eating veggies
-He hates veggies.
-Well He used to.He's now informed me he likes broccli, califlower and snow peas. He will eat Asparagus but is not a huge fan.

-I confess I need to take it easy. Anybody have good stress relieving ideas?
-Anyone?
-I'm gonna have an ulcer if I don't chill out.

friday confessional

2011-05-20T08:13:00.002-06:00

*I confess that I am a stress magnet. I worry about everything
*Its true. It's a problem
*My blood sugar was 150
* I was having a panic attack so I took an ativan
*My blood sugar went down to 89
*gotta control this stress...gotta get back to exercising and maybe do some meditating.

*I confess that over the last month and a half I've lost 20.6 pounds.
*I hate dieting. So I'm not. I'm changing my eating habits permanently.

*I confess that because I've been working an insane amount of hours I haven't done a REAL work out in almost 2 weeks. It makes me cry.
* My legs are upset at me, they ache and want to get on the treadmill
* Maybe...instead of grocery shopping I will do that tonight....

Reunion Rewind

2011-05-16T21:16:00.002-06:00

Family Reunion 2011 just did a quick video.

Hope you enjoy! If you want any of the pictures (family) then let me know and I will email them.

Another reunion post

2011-05-15T18:38:00.002-06:00

I found more of my pictures. This is mostly for my fam, this is from the temple grounds and the park. Family, if you want any pictures just let me know and I will email them to you.

The Re-education of Christy G or a call to love myself

2011-05-12T12:46:00.000-06:00

I have not always been a huge fan of me. Sometimes, I am really hard on myself. I'm not thin enough, not all of my hair got dyed, my house isn't clean enough, I hardly ever wear makeup the list can go on and on. But why do that to myself. What's the point? It doesn't change anything. In Fact, most of the time it makes things worse.

I have at LEAST as many good qualities as I do bad. I am an awesome aunt, a good daughter, a loving wife. I am an excellent photographer, I sing and act well. All in all I'm a pretty cool person. I love laughing. So WHY is it, that for so long, I dread getting up and looking in the mirror? I sit and sulk cuz maybe I haven't been to church in a few weeks?

For so long I have been told I am not good enough. And I let myself believe it. Can you imagine?? I let other people dictate how I feel about myself. How lame is that? Who is in control here??? So I'm done. I'm done with hearing the bad and letting it sink in. I'm done with being guilted, because I don't look a certain way.

For the first time in my life I am proud to be me. I'm proud that I have lost 19 pounds. I'm proud that I'm doing it without the aid of herbs or radical diets or pills or anything. Me and Hubby are doing it. Portion control and exercise. I'm proud that I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I'm proud to be smart. It is something that I should celebrate, not hide to make others feel more comfortable around me. I want to make one thing very clear. I am not losing weight to conform, because I don't want to look like another robot. I enjoy being different. I am losing weight because I need to be healthy. Period. The end.

This journey, the one I'm not only taking with food, but to love myself...I've learned somethings on this path. Some awesome things.

1. I am freaking awesome. I just am.

2. Healthy food doesn't have to be boring, monotonous or gross. It can be awesome.

3. Exercise is fun. I like walking. I like running to, I just can't do it for very long yet.

4. I can't hide from who I am, and I won't do it anymore. Because who I am is awesome (see #1)

5. I can do anything I put my mind to. Sometimes it takes hard work, but that only makes it more worth it in the end.

I'm sure there are more things but I'm out of time for now. Just remember I am awesome....now find out who awesome you are. Share the love. Peace.

friday confessional

2011-05-06T11:06:00.002-06:00

I confess:

- The week of mothers day is really hard
- because I wanna be a mom so badly
- BUT I have the most awesome nieces and nephews in the world
- and sometimes I feel like a second mom because,
- yes I love them that much.

-I confess I went to Wendy's last night and completely- blew my diet
-I had good intentions. Baked potato and a salad
- but once I got in there, the smell of the french fries....
- and the burgers...*drools a little* I've been wanting a cheeseburger for awhile now.
- So I had one. And now I feel guilty.
- but it was good. And worth it.
- And now I'm back to my diet.....

Good times...

2011-05-01T22:15:00.008-06:00

It's been an amazing few months. (gac! months!) So I wanted to post some pictures and tell everybody how awesome my family is. These are from a hike we took towards the beginning of our family reunion. I got lazy with my camera but it was fun. There was swimming, and hiking and pictures and boy was there food. It was amazing.

There was also my anniversary last month. Three years. The wonderful, hard, happy, fun blissful years with the man I love more than anything. He's so wonderful. He tells me day after day how beautiful I am and how much he loves me. He is special, smart, talented, kind, caring and soooo many other things. We spent the night in Midway at the world mark and had all kind of fun and food. I love that man!

Family Reunion

2011-04-29T22:13:00.000-06:00

So in March we had a family reunion. It was fun we spent a few days in Saint George.

My life is good.

2011-04-05T23:33:00.002-06:00

I have been posting a lot of negative stuff lately. I wanted to just take a moment to say how happy I am. I feel better than I've felt in a long time, and I am VERY happy. I have an amazing husband, a good job and a supportive family. I love my workouts and I'm really grateful that I have been able to become the person I am. While I know I am imperfect, I believe I am a good person. That is due, in no small part, to the trials I've experienced, so I'm even grateful for those. In Short....

The Thursday Followup

2011-03-27T19:03:00.002-06:00

Well I did go to the doctor on Thursday and it went really well. One test said I had mild diabetes, and the other said I was pre-diabetic. I know that doesn't sound like good news, but it is. Because if I lose weight it will most likely go away. I will of course have to be careful the rest of my life, and when I finally do get pregnant I will get gestational diabetes, but I can live a normal life. I can beat it! It may have been the only way I could have ever found the motivation to lose weight. This is the last of the posts I will write here about this, until I am declared non-diabetic. If your interested in my progress then you can head over to my weight loss blog:

http://journeytoalesserme.blogspot.com/

Life Changing Events

2011-03-22T20:33:00.002-06:00

There are things that happen throughout your life that alter your course. Things like marriage, death, birth, moving, losing your job, getting a new job and....diagnosis. One of these things happened to me today. Guess which one.

I went into the doctor as a followup since they changed my medication. For those of you who don't know, I have clinical depression, due to a chemical imbalance. Dr. F. Changed my medication because what I was on just wasn't working anymore. She's awesome. We talked about getting me on clomid, so that we could usher in another life changing event. She decided to start me with Metformin, or gluophage, since that's what they generally start people with Polycystic Ovarian Sydrome (PCOS) on to induce pregnancy. I'm not diagnosed with that but she said she wanted to treat me that way. This must have got her thinking. She said she wanted to test my blood sugar and asked when the last time I ate anything was. Dinner last night was the last thing I ate and I told her so.

So she asked me to jump back on the table and had the nurse come in and prick my finger and take a few drops of the precious blood that keeps me alive. She took it and spun it around, and did I don't know what all. We waited for about 10 minutes and Dr. F. came back in. I held Adam's hand and she told me I have Diabetes.

The world stopped for three heartbeats, and the words rang in my ears. Tears just started rolling down my face. She gave me a second and then started asking some questions. She wanted me to get some blood work done, just to confirm her diagnosis.

So now.....we wait. I have another doctors appointment on Thursday to get some more information, and get a final diagnosis. Right now I am just full of fear. All I have are questions. Thursday can not come soon enough.

Feelin'.....Not so groovy.

2011-02-17T22:31:00.002-07:00

Ok, so I try to keep my blog positive, and my personal life, well....personal. I'm feeling a little...pressured. You see, I turn 31 in a few days. I have taken stock of my life several times. I realize that I have an amazing life. I have a sweet dog, and an amazing husband. I have a comfortable apartment and TWO amazing families that love me, both mine and my husbands. I have the gospel, and a job that pays the bills. I realize that's amazing, and I realize its WAY more than a lot of people have, and don't get me wrong, I am completely grateful.

In all this amazing wonder that is my life, I feel like there is something missing. A very small something that would change my life in a very big way. A very tiny...more of someone than something. I am watching people my age with four or five kids, and women younger than me, on their second or third. I watch everyone around me growing their families, and I feel....stuck. I feel like I'm being left behind, like I'm not whole. It's hard. People who have never struggled with infertility can not possibly understand. Everything is about families. Everywhere. It doesn't seem to matter what it is, the advertising business is even capitalizing on the fact that families seem to be growing. Everyone, except mine. I am so excited when I hear about people who are having babies....I really couldn't be more excited for them. But I get so envious sometimes I get sick to my stomach. My heart is broken. I know there are others in my same boat, but sometimes it feels like I'm drifting on a raft in the middle of the ocean. There's no way to steer, and it feels like the ocean stretches on forever, and the horizon just holds more ocean. At least I have someone in this big boat with me. Thanks Adam for being my life raft.

The first Christmas night

2011-01-06T23:36:00.000-07:00

I was thinking, as I so often do, while I was lying in bed, trying desperately sink into the sweet oblivion of dreamless sleep. I was thinking about that first Christmas and the angels and the shepherds. Mostly about the angels. Their song and how joyful and triumphant it must have been. How loud and engaging it must have been. Then I had to stop and think, if it was really as many angels as I imagine, it would have been a song that rang around the world. How could people not hear it. How could it not be heard by every ear...and my thought was disrupted yet again. Every ear. You must have ears to hear and a heart to understand. That song, that I imagine rang around the world, would have been heard by those with a believing heart. Those who heard the song, that sweet song of triumph, were paying attention.

That led to more thinking, yes I think a lot at night, what sweet songs of the angles am I missing, are we all missing, because we are distracted. Distracted by our search for money, or recreation or ANYTHING. I feel like if I"m not doing three things at once, I am wasting time. At work I have music playing in the background, while I do three other things. Even right now I'm watching a moving, chatting with my husband, surfing the web and writing on my blog. Where is the time for silence, for listening to that quiet voice. You know the still small one that tells you right from wrong and gives you direction. We..I need to set time aside for quiet meditation. For listening. For reading peacefully. For my Heavenly Father, so I don't miss out on any more choirs of angles singing, and heralding the miracles of our day.

101 Things updated

2011-01-01T23:52:00.001-07:00

Wonder where I'm at with this?

Learn to play all of the hymns in the hymn book Working on it
Pay Tithing on every paycheck 0/72 (if my math is correct) Have to start over on this one
Finish my novel My computer crashed so I have to start over and I haven't yet.
~~Paint my windows for each major holiday (Christmas, New Years, Valentines day, Independence day, St Patrick's day, April Fools Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving) 1/20~~ My windows are no longr visable so I think I'm cutting this one out.
Learn to play all the songs in the Children's Hymn book
Attend the temple at least once a month 0/35 Changing this to attend church every week.
Write on my blog once a week 1/143 So we all know I'm not doing this one so well :)
Exercise three times a week each week. Two words....EPIC FAIL
Keep a journal daily 0/1001 Time to start up on this again
Daily personal scripture study 0/1001 Time to start up on this again
Daily family scripture study 0/1001 Time to start up on this again
Make pillows for my couch Took a couple of sewing lessons from my mom. I think I'm ready to try this one.
Try a new recipe every week 0/143 I've tried a lot! Sadly I haven't kept track of how many new recipies I've tried. I'd bet it's at least 60 though.
Reach my goal weight
Get a family portrait Two thirds done. Gone one of the Smith side and the Gale side (thanks to the weddings) Now I need one of Adam, Herc and I.
Get new chairs for the dining room not done yet. Luckily this is only a once thing.
~~Get a dresser~~ DONE! Thanks Mom and Dad for your help on this one
~~House train my puppy~~ He knows where to go and tries REALLY REALLY hard not to have accidents.
Practice Piano daily 1/1001 Our keyboard is in Storage...no place for it. We need to find a place!
Spend at least 20 minutes a day cleaning house (excluding vacations) 0/1001 Epic Fail. Time to start trying again. :)
Read 100 new books 0/100 I think I'm at 6. I need to read shorter books.
Read the entire Ensign every month 0/35 Need to do this too!
Pray each morning 1/1001
Take my nieces and nephews sledding Looking forward to that with 2 feet of snow.
Quit swearing I think I've gotten worse! I need a swear jar.
Prepare 72 hour kits for each member of the family (0/2)
~~Fill all the soda pop bottles that I have been saving with water~~ Threw them all away in the move.
Put $5 into a jar for me for every task completed (0/101)
Submit a picture I've taken to a magazine for publication
Get eyes checked
Print and frame at least one of my own nature photographs
Piece and tie a quilt
Start a Gratitude Journal
Visit a new state
Wear makeup daily 1/1001 Forgot how much better I feel about myself when I wear it! Gonna start again.
Go camping for a weekend
Do something for a neighbor
Donate to friends of scouting
~~Plant a garden with different kinds of veggies than I've grown before~~ Corn and watermelon cucumbers! It was awesome! I miss gardening.
Make a list of 100 things I like about myself
Make a list of 100 reasons I love my husband and give it to him
Tell Adam I love him every day 1/1001
Complete a "100 Things that Make me Happy"list.
~~Write Jeremiah every week for the rest of his mission 0/35~~ Jeremiah's home. Think I can do makeup?
Make 3 new friends
Put away part of each paycheck into my savings account
Get a new car
Do my hair every day 1/1001
Have PERSONAL prayer on a daily basis
Get out of Debt
Learn a new language Working on Spanish and fixin to start learning sign language.
Start a business have a website...and a facebook page. But I haven't done a lot with it.
~~Create a website for my business~~
Start a photo blog and post to it daily
Go on a romantic weekend getaway with my husband
Sew something I can wear
~~Try a new restaurant every month or until we have eaten at all the restaurants in Cedar City(0/35)~~ We moved from Cedar City but I've tried all but one of the restaurants in heber,
Read books by 15 new authors 0/15 Workin on it! Three!
Have a fireworks display with my family
~~Go to a parade with my husband~~ 4th of July parade in Cedar City.
Go on a hike with my husband
Watch 10 inspirational movies 0/10
Send out Christmas cards
Donate 100 items to DI
Only drink soda once a week
Take a vacation
Complete and frame a cross stitch
Go to a play
Do something I'm scared of
Send a Christmas letter to family and friends
Bake and decorate 12 cakes 0/12
~~Attend a renaissance festival~~ Briefly went to one in Cedar City it was fun
Give $5 to charity for each goal I don't complete
Get a hutch and display the wedding stuff we have
Submit a poem for publishing
Have a family home evening lesson twice a month 0/71
Have a picnic at a park
Go to the kings feast at Excalibur in Las Vegas
Comment on 3 blogs a month that I read 0/105
Have 3 Girls Night Outs (0/3)
Learn a new word a day 0/1001
~~Build a snowman~~ Last winter with Link Shaunie and Gager
~~Have a snowball fight~~ Last winter with Link Shaunie and Gager
Take a daily multivitamin 1/1001
Put my blog in a book format
Go snorkeling
Clean bathroom once a week
Get bookshelves and display Our books (this may take mroe than one set of bookshelves)
Call my sisters once a week (0/143)
Write a letter to each of my nieces and nephews letting them know why they are special to me.
refinish my vanity and get it out of my parents house
Go on a bike ride with my husband
Learn how to play chess
Have an outdoor movie night
~~Bake a pie from scratch~~ Pumpkin Pie this thanksgiving! It was yummy apparently
Take a picture for each letter of the alphabet I'm up to U!
Learn to say thank you and your welcome in 10 languages
Donate 5 gifts to toys for tots
Have Kendra and Golden and Mom and Dad over for a game night three times 0/3
Learn how to make jam
start the whole mess over again

The Ghost of Christmas Past

2010-12-19T00:14:00.000-07:00

I was talking to my mother the other day about Christmas and why I love it. The conversation wrapped around to not having a lot as I was growing up. Huh. I don't remember that. Yeah as a kid I loved the gifts and I don't remember any shortage of them. What I remember is hiding in the bushes and trying not to giggle so we wouldn't get caught delivering gifts as drop and run. I remember singing carols with my Mom's whole family. I remember waiting with my brothers and sisters to see what Santa brought. There was Rudolph kisses left on our noses more than one Christmas eve. There was caroling in the cold and coming home to warm hot cocoa. There was hugs and love. There was so much love. I remember very few gifts. The one gift I remember most was a vanity table that used to be my grandmothers. It wasn't new and it wasn't expensive it was meaningful and beautiful. Oranges filled the toe of our stocking every year, and I could sure count on peanuts in my stocking. Christmas is my favorite time of year. Not for the gifts. Not for the snow. Not for the hustle and bustle. But there is a feeling of love and memories of warmth and family. The lights are are like stars shining and leading the way back to a time when Christmas meant something a lot more simple. Like one of my favorite Christmas songs says:

C is for the Christ child Born upon this day

H is Herald Angles in the night

R is our Redeemer

I means Israel

S is for the star that shone so bright

T is for three wise men, they who traveled far

M is for the Manger where he lay

A is all he stands for

S means shepherds came

And THAT's Why there is a Christmas day.

That's what my parents taught me. That's what I remember about Christmas growing up.

Finding Christmas

2010-12-07T11:08:00.000-07:00

I'm a grinch. There. I said it. Now don't get me wrong, I love Christmas. I really do. I've just had a hard time getting excited about it and FEELING it. I've had to be shown. Part of it is I just have seen some much negativity. Christmas is supposed to be a positive thing. Where we remember to love each other, for one short season. Instead you go shopping and there is pushing and shoving and cursing. I don't think I would want MY birthday celebrated that way.

Yesterday I went to Golden Corral and found Christmas. I was noisy and people were grabbing food. I was actually almost finished eating. I went to go get some brussel sprouts and cheese (shush I like them) and I heard a little voice behind me say "it's not our turn yet. We have to wait." I quickly finished and turned around and saw two small children, a little girl and a little boy. I stepped away and listened to what happened next. "Now it's our turn. Come on up" she said patiently. I returned to my table and watched as she served her little brother up some food and helped him, and protected him through the maze of adults who seemed oblivious to this small miracle. The little boy said something about wanting candy or desert and she gently placed her arm around him "No we have to eat this first." She guided him and helped him pick out some fruits and veggies. They then disappeared from view, but not from my mind. My heart was touched and I felt Christmas for the first time this year.

Thanksgiving....

2010-12-02T17:36:00.000-07:00

I was able to take 9 days off for Thanksgiving. I had so much fun I forgot to take pictures.

Sunday we packed and rested

Monday we drove down to my parents house. We thought it was going to be TERRIBLE weather but it was nice and relaxing. When we got there Adam was TYE ERD so he took a nap and I waited for my parents to get home from shopping. When they did I had a whole new wardrobe! Yay for early Christmas. Adam got several really nice shirts as well. He really needed them. Thanks Mom and Dad. After that we went to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part one and Miah brought his cute little girlfriend. She's super sweet. I like her.

Tuesday we hung around and played games, and tried to make plans for the rest of the week.

Wednesday we made pies, I made my first pumpkin pie, everyone said it was yummy. We played more games and visited and hung out with the kids.

Thursday was the main event. Thanksgiving dinner was fabulous. My mom makes one mean turkey. Everything was super yummy and mom and dad had invited a couple over that didn't have anywhere to go. It was fun and there was a lot of laughter and yummy food. Afterward we took family pictures, which I'm waiting for My sister to post on her blog (hint hint) and then we went to see TANGLED!! It was AWESOME. You MUST see it. It was great there was laughing and happiness and tenderness. It was great. Starting at Midnight we went shopping, by we I mean Kendra Becky Mom and myself. We shopped and shopped and shopped and shopped. We came home around 8 AM and got some good deals. It was A LOT of fun. I've never done the whole black friday deals thing. There was about 30 to f45 minutes of shopping and the an hour or so in line it was nuts.

Friday I slept most of the day due to the not getting home til 8 AM thing. Then we ate pizza that Kendra made and it was FABULOUS!! We played games and I had to work for an hour so I went back to mom and dads and did that and then went to bed.

Saturday was a BLAST we went to go get Cafe Rio (yum) and then went to the washington rec center. It was A MAZE ING we watch people climb the wall, Shaunie did it about four times, and most everybody got to the top. Neither Adam or I could do it, but we will....soon. Then we went to the pool Area. It was Amazing! There was a play area for the bigger kids and a play area for the little kids/babies, there was a lazy river and a hydro tube (I'm anti that but that's another story on another blog) The kids had a blast. We went back to Mom's house and goofed around. We had BLTs for dinner and the kids were all tired so there was some snuggling and some visiting. Then I had to work another hour so I did that and then we packed up and left.

All in all it was probably my favorite thanksgiving ever. I loved spending it with my wonderful husband and my awesome family. I miss them so much. Maybe we will be able to move back down next fall......

Let it snow let it snow.....

2010-11-09T23:42:00.002-07:00

We went to church this Sunday, for the first time in awhile. It. was. amazing. It was the first time in a VERY long time that I didn't feel uncomfortable once. What a really cool spiritual experience. There were a couple of young men who bore there testimonies and it was really neat. Everyone had a powerful testimony. I loved it. I was so excited to be a part of this ward. We went to talk to the bishop to get our records transferred. He asked where we lived, and we told him our apartment complex name. "Your not in our ward!" He said. I almost cried. Apparently our ward was split a couple of weeks ago. :( This has happened every time we have moved. Blech. Now we have to find our new ward, and can only pray that our new ward is as awesome as the ward we went to is.

I look forward to the challenges and opportunities this new ward will present. I just hope that I won't be playing the piano in front of people anytime soon.

Parties and Trick or Treaters

2010-10-31T14:52:00.002-06:00

Well Hello! It's been a week so I thought I'd post. Saturday before last my brother and sister in law hosted an awesome halloween party. There was home made soup and all kinds of goodies. The costumes were AWESOME. We left about 9:30 which means we didn't get home until 11 or later. That's not a big deal though. It was super fun. After that I just worked. A lot. Last night was Halloween, at least we celebrated it. WE had lots of Trick or Treaters, most of which were NOT dressed up. I've decided that next year I'm going to put up a sign on the door that says "no costume no treat" On the other hand those kids had a lot of guts. The kids who came to our house at 11:00 had more guts. They almost got tricked because I was ready to explode. But I didn't. I gave them candy and let them know it was a little bit late to be ringing peoples door bell...They disagreed. It's all good. I"m getting used to it. Teenagers.....the part of parenting I am terrified of. And no....that's not an announcement.

Heber vs. Cedar

2010-10-24T00:37:00.003-06:00

I love my husband. As proof of this love, I left my house that I adored, my family less than an hour away, WARMTH less than an hour away and a stinkin awesome deal on rent, packed up our junk, and moved to an apartment in Heber City. It's a good thing my job moves with me! I do have some family up here. I'm blessed to have awesome in laws and my brother and his wife are not too far away. It's just not the same as having my mom so close.

There are just so many more opportunities for my wonderful husband here. We are trying to find a way to get him into school. If you want to donate to the cause we wouldn't say no! ha ha. He has had a couple of job interviews, and another on Tuesday. We are hoping he gets an interview with convergys because it's a good job and they do tuition reimbursement. Oh yeah, and it pays a lot more.

We thought for half a heartbeat that we were going to be the foster parents for a 14 year old girl. But her half siblings' father offered to take her in, and he lives in Hawaii. If I had the choice (and I were here of course) I would go live with him. I mean it's FRICKIN HAWAII! Plus she gets to stay with her brother and sister.

We are still finding our niche here in Heber, but we have a great opportunity to watch our niece Sky several times a week. It's been a true delight to do that. Anyway, other than that life is fairly consistent. As, I will try to be with my posts from here on out. Once a week.....is there anyone out there who believes me?

And I think to myself....what a wonderful world...

2010-07-09T21:03:00.002-06:00

I've been sitting here...at my desk working my butt off, and I glanced up and out the window. The sky was full of yellow and orange and red and pink. The most beautiful sunset. I've been feeling down, and frustrated about find a place to live and not getting pregnant and what not. I looked up and felt the beauty of the earth. I knew that sunset was just for me. A giant hug from a loving Father in Heaven who would hold me in his arms if he could. Instead he sends me a soft whisper to let me know that everything is alright. A gentle rain to soothe away my stresses. A loving husband to kiss away tears. I have more blessings than I could possibly count.

My mistake....

2010-06-10T13:24:00.003-06:00

I apologize in advance to anyone who this may offend, but I need to write down this.

So I have have been spending a lot of time in my head lately....when I'm unsuccessfully trying to fall asleep. I've decided a few things about myself.

1. I am very judgmental. Not in the way that you would think though. I judge you that you are judging me. I assume you think that I'm not worth anything so you won't even try to be my friend. I ASSUME that you are laughing at me on the inside and don't think I'm worth your time. I don't give people a chance because I don't want to risk getting hurt. If you know me, you know that I'm very sensitive, and my heart has been bruised a lot. Not by guys because I didn't really give them a chance. But by people I considered my friends, or people I wanted to be friends with. A lot of this stems from my past. People I considered my friends would make fun of me, or make me feel that I was lucky to be hanging out with them, and I began to believe that I was not worth that much and I WAS lucky to be around the people who only kept me around out of pity. The damage that caused is hard to overcome. I thought I had moved beyond it, but I looked around and realized that I don't make an effort to be friends with anyone, they have to reach out to me and even then, I'm hesitant. So here is my goal, I will not just assume that someone is trying to take advantage of me. I will also not just assume that someone doesn't really care about me. I will give people a chance. I'm sorry to anyone who has tried to reach out in friendship and I was to afraid to reach back. You don't deserve that.

2. I am focused too much on the negative things in my life, and I keep saying I'll be happy when....I'll be happy when I get a boyfriend, I'll be happy when I get engaged, I'll be happy when I'm married, I'll be happy when we buy a house, I'll be happy when we have a baby...when I was in high school I was on the debate team, I know surprise....but I did oratory speech and our team captain gave a speech that really had an effect on me. Part of it was the following poem...

. As a rule man is a fool,
When it's hot he wants it cool,
When it's cool he wants it hot,

Always wanting what is not.

That poem has been with me for nearly 15 years. Always in the back of my mind. Yet I was always look for happiness outside of myself. But happiness doesn't come from the outside. It comes from within, and using the innate ability we all have to find the GOOD things in life. There are ALWAYS good things, even at the lowest moment of my life I am more blessed than I deserve. I have a wonderful family, a romantic and passionate husband, a home, a good job, the gospel, awesome in-laws that make me feel like I'm part of the family, and accept me for who I am and a plethora of others that there just isn't enough time or space in all the world to list. I am truly blessed. My goal here is to count my blessings on a daily basis. Maybe I will post them....steal an Idea from Kimmi over at So Many Kids, So Little Time and post a few things that I'm grateful for every week on "Muchas Gracias Monday" but I KNOW I will be happier if I focus on the positive things.

3. I have a food addiction. It's food. I know that sounds silly, but it's not. It's serious. I won't be hungry but I still feel a need to eat, and to eat a lot. It has caused me to gain over 100 pounds. Here is the dilemma...how does one stay away from food? You have to have it to survive. How do you break an addiction to something that your body needs? Its a frighting reality to face. I guess we could not have any unhealthy snack foods in the house...but even healthy snacks are bad if you eat too much...so my goal? I don't know...I don't know what to do about this one. I don't know how to fix my brain.

The masks we wear...

2010-05-25T21:30:00.002-06:00

Can you look beyond what you see? Can you look beyond your sight?
Will you take the time to notice my beauty from inner light?

I know I am not perfect I see it all the time, but if you see with your heart, you may see in to mine.

Can you look beyond my imperfection, can you see beyond the mask?
Will you take the time to notice me, to put yourself to task?

--Christy Gale

I wrote this poem a few years ago and forgot all about it. Then I found it, after a discussion that I had with my husband about the LAME disguises superheros wear to hide their true identity. I mean Superman, come on. You can fly, your super strong, you have laser vision and the best disguise you can come up with is a pair of glasses from the dollar store? Lets get real here. At least spiderman has a mask when he's spidey. And it's not just superheros. On Hannah Montana Billy Ray's disguise is a mustache. Really? a mustache? At this point in our discussion, I was trying to decide whether or not I should be insulted by the authors general assumption that we would be unable to discern such simple guises. Then, all at once it came to me, the disguise isn't what they are wearing. It's who they are. Superman is all duh duh duh duuuuuh!!! An pops out with his hands on his waist, and chest poking out, brimming with a confidence you just can't find nowadays. He KNOWS he can save the world. He's done it before. He knows he will be doing it again. Flip the coin. Clark Kent...he's shaky, at best. He's not confident, he's a little lost. And, lets face it, he's kind of a dork. The same thing with Billy Ray. Without the mustache he's Daddy. A loving father who wants nothing better than just his daughter to be happy. With the mustache, he's manager, propelling Hannah to stardom.

I kinda sat there awestruck for a minute. Then my brain got to cranking....as it does, and I thought of how hard it is to get to know people. We all wear this mask. We can't bare to think of people getting to know the real us. It terrifies us, because that makes us vulnerable. But maybe we need a little more vulnerability. Maybe the world should be just a little softer. We are great people. Everyone has good in them and we are so afraid to show how amazing we are. We are children of GOD. He wouldn't leave us down here on our own, to meddle through life and just hope we made it back. We have his essence inside us. We are amazing.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
--by Marianne Williamson

Just my random thoughts. That is all.

Mothers Day

2010-05-12T18:31:00.004-06:00

So I have a wonderful wonderful hubby. If you know me, then you know HOW much I want to have a baby. It's MAD crazy and gets harder every time it doesn't happen. So you can imagine Mothers day is not my favorite of all days. It's hard. My husband, ever aware and ever thoughtful of my fragile mental state gave me these....

Now from here you may ask why the flip that would be so sweet...and not cruel and unusual punishment. Well it would be painful had it not been accompanied by this...

It was the absolute sweetest thing I've had done for me. Adam I love you. I love how well you know me. I love that you touch my heart and move my soul. You are amazing. Thank you so much.

St. Patty's Day Window

2010-03-14T20:50:00.004-06:00

It's gonna be a bright sunshiney day....maybe.

2010-03-09T15:49:00.004-07:00

Well for those of you who missed me, I'm back....and better than ever!

We went to California and it was a blast! Day by day....here we go!

Sat Feb 20- We got up at 7 so we could leave by 8, got the car loaded and the dog dropped of at Kendra and Golden's by about 8:45 (thanks again guys!) and headed out...almost. There needed to be a stop at Wal Mart to get something. New clothes for Christy w00t! I ended up with five new shirts so that was nice. When we got there though, we noticed Adam had left his wallet in our car. Since we were driving my Mom's car, that was a problem. You have to have ID to get into Sea World (yay). So we had to go back to La Verkin to get the wallet. So by the time we left it was about 11:45 UT time. We got to Vegas and we were almost out of gas so we pulled over just outside of Vegas and got gas and made another brief stop about 15 minutes later to grab some food on the run, cuz we were way behind. So we drove and drove and about half an hour from my sister Becky's house our GPS died....and we lost mom and dad. We had a cell phone but about 5 minutes from Becky's house that died too....and on top of it all my ipod died....so we were alone and musicless....luckily my mom and dad found us and we were able to follow them the rest of the way there. Since it was my birthday Becky made me an awesome dinner, Cafe Rio inspired salad (it was even better yum) and my birthday cake was a red velvet cake....which is probably my favorite kind of cake....and it was the best one I'd ever had. Anyway it was pretty late by that point but we still managed to keep our eyes open long enough to watch the mens speed skating in the olympics. That was super fun. Then we went to bed.

Sun Feb 21 - Adam's back was hurting so bad that he wasn't able to go to church with the rest of us and he actually spent most of the day in bed. The fridge went out and so there was some scramble to get the food eaten/given away. It was pretty exciting :) The rest of the day was pretty relaxed we sang hymns and visited.

Mon Feb 22 - was mostly a travel day. After Dewy (my nephew) got back from preschool we packed up and cleaned the house and left for the Worldmark condo. We stopped and ate at Subway and Adam and I spoke about the differences in the culture between Utah and California. We rode with Becky and that was fun. Once we got there we got ready to go swimming, but Adam waited in the condo for them, because they had to rearrange the beds. It wasn't too long before we headed back up because the kids lips were blue and they were shiviring....none the less we had to pry them out of the pool because hey were having so much fun. When we got back up to the condo, Adam had already left to go get in the hot tub. Unfortuantely he got lost and locked out of the the resort and had to walk clear around it....and his back was still hurting. Poor guy. So I went back down to the hot tub and soaked with him for about an hour. When we got back upstairs the kids were ready for bed and we were ready for dinner, so that's what happened. After that we watched TV for a little while and went to bed.

Tues Feb 23- We woke up pretty ealry and loaded up the cars and headed to Sea World. We were all super excited and Adam had never been there. We got Adam a scooter so he wouldn't have to walk everywhere with his bad back. We did the shark experience and the penguin experience and saw the Orca show and the Sea Lion show. It was really fun. We also ate ath the park.....the food was....less than desirable. Except the cheesecake, which was really really really good. Oh and the bread sticks were good. But this isn't all about the food. I promise. We walked out of the orca show and gathered together under a plam tree (ha ha ha) guess what happened? Plop plop plop. Mom and dad got it good. Thanks to a little birdy in the tree above. Unfortunately my 1 year old niece Ellie got it to. That was sad. But it was also really funny. Mom also gave me some money for my birthday and I decided to open a clam with the money and make a pendant. The pearl I ended up with was an 8 MM blue pearl that would retail (by itself) for 75 bucks. And I only paid 15 for it! W00t. It's really pretty.

We went home had dinner and went down to the hot tub...and then to bed.

Wed Feb 24-Becky had decided a good birthday present, and I agree with this, was to take me and Adam to Disneyland. It was an EXCELLENT present. The day started off rainy so we bought an umbrella and Becky bought slickers for the kids....guess what. I stopped raining for the rest of the day. :) So it was overcast and cool and really fun. We rode pirates and Dewy sat between me and Adam and had a blast! It was so cute to see how excited he was. We went on it's a small world for the first time since they revamped it and it was fun to see the changes. Adam hadn't been on it before and he really enjoyed it. We saw the show at the Golden Horseshoe and they had changed that up as well. We split up with the family and went on Haunted Mansion. It was really fun. Then we went over to California Adventure and tried out their new ride Toy Story Mania it is a 3d ride and was super fun. We also went on Big Bear River Rapids....the family we were on with decided they wanted to go another run around and since it was cold not many people were on the ride, they let us just go through again...I kinda wanted off but I like the ride so I just shooshed up and went again. I was really wet already but my pants managed to stay dry....until we were about to get off. The lady sitting pretty much on my lap decided to dump the water of her slicker, and into my lap....three times. I was soaked head to toe at this point. So we decided that we were done. On the way out we found the rest of the family and they had chocolate ice cream. I was jealous so Adam drove me all over ocean side looking for a McDonalds...we never found one, but we did find a couple of roads right along the beach. It was SOOOO beautiful. We got back and had dinner and then we went to bed.

Thursday Feb 25 - we went to the beach and made a sand castle... and played in the ocean as much as we could. It was pretty chilly so ya know...we kinda just waded. The rest of the day was swimming relaxing and getting ready to go. Until it was dinner time. We hooked up our wii to entertain the kids. After dinner however, the kids went to bed and the wii was still hooked up. So Becky Mom and I played Super Mario brothers Wii. It was really fun and we were all giggling like little girls. It was really fun and I had a good time.

Friday feb 26 - we loaded up and went home leaving about 10.....which was also an adventure. It was actually pretty quiet for the first three hours of the trip. Then I woke up. We were almost to Vegas so we pulled over and I started driving. We decided we were going to go to the spice buffet in Planet Hollywood but there was issues with...well Vegas. you can't look up, you can't look down, and you can't look left or right. Adam and I were both very uncomfortable and so we decided to stop in Mesquite. So we got about 18 miles outside of Vegas and the gaslight came on...we were going to get gas when we stopped for dinner. Oy. So we had 20 miles to the next town or 18 miles back to Vegas, and I didn't know how long we could go on empty. We spotted a gas station and pulled off the road...only to find it wasn't open yet. We prayed that we could reach a gas station and gratefully we reached Moapa. It wasn't on our GPS but it was there and it was open. YAY! We laughed about it and wished we were in Mesquite because we were both starving....it was almost 5 and we hadn't eaten since that morning before we left. Yowza. So we finally got to Mesquite and stopped at the Oasis only to find it closed. oooookkay. Something I wish that I had gotten a picture of was a sign that said 24 hour valet service. And underneath it there was a sign that said closed Monday through Thursday. HAHAHAHA! Anyway we decided we were going to stop one more place and then if it didn't work out we would be going to Golden Corral in Saint George. We ended up eating at a buffet that wasn't memorable. We did eventually make it home.

I don't think I could have had a better time. It was awesome. Thanks Mom and Dad and Thanks Becky and Hyrum. I love you all!

Wacha gonna do when they come for you.....

2010-01-04T13:50:00.003-07:00

What do you do??? He's trained that outside is the way to go but when he gets upset, he uses the floor as a toiled, and today I stepped in it....*sigh* Oh he's also wanted for destruction of private property and eating out of the garbage can. He's a sweet dog, but he will remain in prison until further notice.

Somthin to Blog About...

2010-01-02T11:55:00.007-07:00

So I know, I'm not doing well with the blogging every week. My life isn't that exciting, so I don't do it. There have, however, been a couple of events that I should probably share....

Christmas was awesome. I got a good bonus this year so we had a little extra...like a 32' HD TV That's been really fun....the detail in the pictures are amazing. It's like having bad vision for a really long time and then getting glasses. Did you know Dobby actually cries and has tears rolling down his face in "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" when Harry asks him to sit down?? I didn't know until I watched it on HDTV. Anyway....I got an Ipod touch...I've been wanting one since...oh, they came out. And Adam got a new LCD Computer monitor. He's so excited. We also put lights up on hours for the first time this year. See?

We also bought a new tree...prelit. Very nice...and exciting. We had a blue and silver theme this year.

I also painted the window....

New Years Eve I had to work so Adam and I just spent a quiet evening at home. After I got off work we watched the ball drop. Then we did some cleaning and went to bed...because we were having guests come over.

New Years day was a little more busy. I had my sister Kendra's oldest three kids over to spend the night. They are actually still here. It has been a blast! Shaunie came with me to take my dog out, and while we were doing that she threw a snowball at me....well this started an all out war. We teamed up and it was boys against the girls. I think we won...but how does one tell in a snowball fight. It was fun. After that Frosty came to visit!

Okay so his hat was made of snow, and he didn't come to life, but he has Twix eyes and an M&M mouth...how many snowmen can say THAT. The kids were cold after that...and somewhat wet, so we came inside and played Mario Kart while Adam went and got Pizza. He got back and we watched a movie. By that time it was around 9 so we made milkshakes and then went to bed. I know what you are thinking....what was she THINKING giving kids sugar right. Well you are right....there was fake snoring, pillow fighting elbowing and giggling until 11:00. It was funny. In the words of Gager "This is the best day EVER!"

Today we got up and had chocolate chip pancakes, hot cocoa and bacon while watching another movie, followed by popcorn and Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. Lunch will roll arond at some point, and then I imagine it will be just about time for the kiddos to go home....and then, I will be taking a nap. A much DESERVED nap if I do say so myself!

Merry CHRISTMAS!!!

2009-12-24T11:54:00.001-07:00

Afrikaans	Gesëende Kersfees
Afrikander	Een Plesierige Kerfees
African/ Eritrean/ Tigrinja	Rehus-Beal-Ledeats
Albanian	Gezur Krislinjden
Arabic:	Idah Saidan Wa Sanah Jadidah
Argentine:	Feliz Navidad
Armenian:	Shenoraavor Nor Dari yev Pari Gaghand
Azeri:	Tezze Iliniz Yahsi Olsun
Bahasa Malaysia:	Selamat Hari Natal
Basque:	Zorionak eta Urte Berri On!
Bengali:	Shuvo Naba Barsha
Bohemian:	Vesele Vanoce
Brazilian:	Boas Festas e Feliz Ano Novo
Breton:	Nedeleg laouen na bloavezh mat
Bulgarian:	Tchestita Koleda; Tchestito Rojdestvo Hristovo
Catalan:	Bon Nadal i un Bon Any Nou!
Chile:	Feliz Navidad
Chinese: (Cantonese)	Gun Tso Sun Tan'Gung Haw Sun
Chinese: (Mandarin)	Kung His Hsin Nien bing Chu Shen Tan
Choctaw:	Yukpa, Nitak Hollo Chito
Columbia:	Feliz Navidad y Próspero Año Nuevo
Cornish:	Nadelik looan na looan blethen noweth
Corsian:	Pace e salute
Crazanian:	Rot Yikji Dol La Roo
Cree:	Mitho Makosi Kesikansi
Croatian:	Sretan Bozic
Czech:	Prejeme Vam Vesele Vanoce a stastny Novy Rok
Danish:	Glædelig Jul
Duri:	Christmas-e- Shoma Mobarak
Dutch:	Vrolijk Kerstfeest en een Gelukkig Nieuwjaar! or Zalig Kerstfeast
English:	Merry Christmas
Eskimo: (inupik)	Jutdlime pivdluarit ukiortame pivdluaritlo!
Esperanto:	Gajan Kristnaskon
Estonian:	Ruumsaid juulup\|hi
Faeroese:	Gledhilig jol og eydnurikt nyggjar!
Farsi:	Cristmas-e-shoma mobarak bashad
Finnish:	Hyvaa joulua
Flemish:	Zalig Kerstfeest en Gelukkig nieuw jaar
French:	Joyeux Noel
Frisian:	Noflike Krystdagen en in protte Lok en Seine yn it Nije Jier!
Galician:	Bo Nada
Gaelic:	Nollaig chridheil agus Bliadhna mhath ùr!
German:	Froehliche Weihnachten
Greek:	Kala Christouyenna!
Hausa:	Barka da Kirsimatikuma Barka da Sabuwar Shekara!
Hawaiian:	Mele Kalikimaka
Hebrew:	Mo'adim Lesimkha. Chena tova
Hindi:	Shub Naya Baras
Hausa:	Barka da Kirsimatikuma Barka da Sabuwar Shekara!
Hawaian:	Mele Kalikimaka ame Hauoli Makahiki Hou!
Hungarian:	Kellemes Karacsonyi unnepeket
Icelandic:	Gledileg Jol
Indonesian:	Selamat Hari Natal
Iraqi:	Idah Saidan Wa Sanah Jadidah
Irish:	Nollaig Shona Dhuit or Nodlaig mhaith chugnat
Iroquois:	Ojenyunyat Sungwiyadeson honungradon nagwutut. Ojenyunyat osrasay.
Italian:	Buone Feste Natalizie
Japanese:	Shinnen omedeto. Kurisumasu Omedeto
Jiberish:	Mithag Crithagsigathmithags
Korean:	Sung Tan Chuk Ha
Latin:	Natale hilare et Annum Faustum!
Latvian:	Prieci'gus Ziemsve'tkus un Laimi'gu Jauno Gadu!
Lausitzian:	Wjesole hody a strowe nowe leto
Lettish:	Priecigus Ziemassvetkus
Lithuanian:	Linksmu Kaledu
Low Saxon:	Heughliche Winachten un 'n moi Nijaar
Macedonian:	Sreken Bozhik
Maltese:	IL-Milied It-tajjeb
Manx:	Nollick ghennal as blein vie noa
Maori:	Meri Kirihimete
Marathi:	Shub Naya Varsh
Navajo:	Merry Keshmish
Norwegian:	God Jul or Gledelig Jul
Occitan:	Pulit nadal e bona annado
Papiamento:	Bon Pasco
Papua New Guinea:	Bikpela hamamas blong dispela Krismas na Nupela yia i go long yu
Pennsylvania German:	En frehlicher Grischtdaag un en hallich Nei Yaahr!
Peru:	Feliz Navidad y un Venturoso Año Nuevo
Philipines:	Maligayan Pasko!
Polish:	Wesolych Swiat Bozego Narodzenia or Boze Narodzenie
Portuguese:	Feliz Natal
Pushto:	Christmas Aao Ne-way Kaal Mo Mobarak Sha
Rapa-Nui (Easter Island):	Mata-Ki-Te-Rangi. Te-Pito-O-Te-Henua
Rhetian:	Bellas festas da nadal e bun onn
Romanche (sursilvan dialect):	Legreivlas fiastas da Nadal e bien niev onn!
Rumanian:	Sarbatori vesele
Russian:	Pozdrevlyayu s prazdnikom Rozhdestva is Novim Godom
Sami:	Buorrit Juovllat
Samoan:	La Maunia Le Kilisimasi Ma Le Tausaga Fou
Sardinian:	Bonu nadale e prosperu annu nou
Serbian:	Hristos se rodi
Slovakian:	Sretan Bozic or Vesele vianoce
Sami:	Buorrit Juovllat
Samoan:	La Maunia Le Kilisimasi Ma Le Tausaga Fou
Scots Gaelic:	Nollaig chridheil huibh
Serb-Croatian:	Sretam Bozic. Vesela Nova Godina
Serbian:	Hristos se rodi.
Singhalese:	Subha nath thalak Vewa. Subha Aluth Awrudhak Vewa
Slovak:	Vesele Vianoce. A stastlivy Novy Rok
Slovene:	Vesele Bozicne. Screcno Novo Leto
Spanish:	Feliz Navidad
Swedish:	God Jul and (Och) Ett Gott Nytt År
Tagalog:	Maligayamg Pasko. Masaganang Bagong Taon
Tami:	Nathar Puthu Varuda Valthukkal
Trukeese:	(Micronesian) Neekiriisimas annim oo iyer seefe feyiyeech!
Thai:	Sawadee Pee Mai
Turkish:	Noeliniz Ve Yeni Yiliniz Kutlu Olsun
Ukrainian:	Srozhdestvom Kristovym
Urdu:	Naya Saal Mubarak Ho
Vietnamese:	Chung Mung Giang Sinh
Welsh:	Nadolig Llawen
Yugoslavian:	Cestitamo Bozic
Yoruba:	E ku odun, e ku iye'dun!

All Riled up and a fine place to rant...

2009-11-17T17:33:00.004-07:00

I am on my soap box tonight...so if your not up for it skip this post and read Ka-thunk.

I'm what one could call a BBW. For those who don't speak acronyms that means a Big Beautiful Woman. I have an awesome hubby who tells me every day that I am beautiful. I am very blessed in that manner.

I haven't always been. And thank you Tyra for that reminder. I was watching her show today about a social experiment, she put people together of different body types (which by the way is the last LEGAL form of discrimination, body type.) and looked at how they would react with one another. Guess who was at the bottom of the "food chain" so to speak. That's right. The heavy people. Everybody was picking on them and telling them they need to eat less, that they were lazy, that they were appalling, and a waste of humanity. This is not just this select group of people that feel this way. It's a majority. I know because of personal experiences. Right after I started dating Adam I was in the grocery store buying some food to cook him for dinner. A group of teenagers walked by me and moo'd at me. In high school I would walk down the hall and hear "watch out here comes the whale lady" when I tell people we are having a hard time having a baby their first question is always, have you considered losing weight? Because it's still okay to make someone feel like crap when they are already down.

I need to say, to those people, my weight is none of your business. My eating habits are not there for you to laugh at. There is a reason I am the way I am and you have no idea what that reason is. You haven't taken the time to get to know me or my story. I have a lot to offer this world, and I deserve to be here. I may not be YOUR definition of beauty, but that dosen't mean that I'm not beautiful. Maybe you should take some time to change your perceptions.

To those who love an accept me for who I am. Thank you. I love you. And for those who know my whole story and love me even more, thank you. My you live a blessed and happy life, for that is what Christ does.

I promise not to judge you, if you don't judge me. But if you attack me, or my loved ones I will come at you with the fierceness of a tiger.

*steps off her soap box*

Kathunk

2009-11-17T17:25:00.004-07:00

Okay so Adam and I were sitting here watching Tyra. (I will have a separate post about that in just a second) Just chillin. I felt both of our bodies tense at the same time. In our Garage I hear "ka-thunk"slow, rhythmic, repeating. I look at Adam, and being the brave man he is, went to the back door to protect me,himself and our home. He opened the door and.......there was the Elders Quorum presidency chopping and stacking our wood. Adam has a hard time doing it because of his bad back. No one asked them to do it. They just did it. Didn't tell us they were doing it, they weren't looking for recognition. They just did it.

Thank you to them. They are truly Christlike.

Post it note Tuesday

2009-11-10T11:28:00.003-07:00

Doggie Post

2009-11-01T19:03:00.008-07:00

Again with my spazzy dog. It's his first time in the snow (other than going to the bathroom) BTW....he hates bath time.

Halloween Frusterations

2009-11-01T01:30:00.003-06:00

I have some feelings I need to express about Halloween and Trick-or-Treating. Let me preface these feelings by stating that I love Halloween. I love to dress up and I love that I can leave the dust on my fans because it's spooky. I love the decorations, and I love how creative people are with their costumes.

I have no issues with trick-or-treating. I myself went trick-or-treating for many years. Here is my issue. Kids have gotten greedy. I even had someone ask if they could just have the rest of the bowl. This was about 8:00. I had another hour of trick-or-treaters! Grrr. My last frustration came at 9:45 PM all the lights in our house were off, indicating that we were out of candy. The TV was on and I was working so I was sitting at my computer. A group of trick-or-treaters came to the door and knocked. I didn't answer the door. So instead of moving on they started banging on the door and screaming "we can see you!!" I was even more determined to not even try to give them candy. So they pounded for a few more seconds and when the jumpd off our porch the shouted "thanks for the candy JERKS!" I don't know what's happened to manners. I tell you what though...if I had kids and they behaved like that the beatings would commence. And if they don't say thank you to every house the go to...well mom will not have to buy her own candy....I'm just sayin is all.

I have an AWESOME hubby

2009-10-28T09:27:00.003-06:00

As you can probably tell, I'm going to be bragging on how cool my husband is. if you don't want to hear it, please skip this post.

Last week Adam and I went on a date. We went to IHOP...kind of. I had been looking forward to their pineapple upside down pancakes. Well we pulled up and they were closed. Seriously...IHOP was closed. Who ever heard of an IHOP closing, let alone at 10 PM. I didn't get my pancakes. I was pretty bummed. The only place that was opened was Denny's, and they have fake eggs and dried hash browns. That is to say, it's not my favorite place to eat. So we ate and went home, sorely disappointed. I went to bed soon after. Adam didn't get to bed til much later. When I woke up I found coconut shells on the counter and some strange things in the fridge.

Adam had gone to walmart in the middle of the night, and purchased all the ingredients to make me pineapple upside down pancakes, including home made coconut syrup. Since he couldn't find coconut milk, he ground the fresh coconut and milked it. Yes, I pretty much have the best husband ever.

He's also talented. He took some video of my nephew, Gage, and made his light saber glow, and swish. He is very cool. Wish I had it to post....I will try to get it from him so I can show you all how AMAZING he is.

On a side note, there is two inches of snow outside, and my dog's legs are Juuuuust about that long....you can imagine how entertaining it is to take hinm outside....Muah ha ha ha ha ha!

SPAAAAAAAAAAZ!

2009-10-20T22:14:00.002-06:00

Okay so my dog is spaztastic. There are several things that he does that I worry about (after laughing for several minutes.) One of those things is, when he gets wound up, he will run circles around our couch. I'm sorry, did I say run? That doesn't quite describe this action. It sounds like he is ripping the carpet off the floor. During the last bout of this happening he started springing from the love seat to the rocker. The last time he did this he only got one foot over the arm of the chair. guess what that means....face first into the side of the couch. It was classic. My dog is a frickin genius.

Another thing is my dog thinks he is a cat. He will climb up on the back of the couch and curl up to go to sleep. He also balances on the window ledge. I guess this is a good thing because Adam wants a cat. Not only am I prejudice against cats, I'm severely allergic. So I guess this fills both our needs?

He also tries to run on our linoleum. He will bound in place a couple of times before he is finally able to get any traction. All said, he makes us laugh for a long time, and we hope to keep it that way.

My first blog award

2009-10-19T12:26:00.004-06:00

I'd like to say thanks to all my faithful readers....But mostly to Kimi, for giving me my first blog award. :)
The Dragon's Loyalty Award is given to honor your blog readers who stick by you on your funny days and your lame ones too.

Rules for this award!

1) If you have a blog, post it on your blog with a link back to the site who gave it to you;

2) Leave them a comment on their site, email, etc. to let them know;

3) If you don't have a blog but have a website, Facebook, MySpace, Twitter or other type account, post there with a link back;

4) Pass this on to 3-10 loyal fans.

So... I would like to pass this on to..

Kendra at The Kendra and Golden years my sweet sister who I know I could go to for anything

Tiffany at A Tale of Two Z's Who, like myself, is actually fiercely loyal to those she loves.

and Jessica at Stanley Scripts who I'm pretty sure I could call upon to help me move a body.

Love all y'all!

MLIA

2009-10-18T23:53:00.002-06:00

My life is average. I don't live in a big house, I've never done anything extraordinary. I'm not rich. I work 8 hours a day as mid level management. I'm pretty much just your average Jane. I'll never be a senator or a movie star or a rock star. I don't do anything especially exciting. I hope one day I'll be a mom. BUT I have a great husband and live in a town I love with a naughty dog who I wouldn't trade for anything because he loves me. Yup. My live is average....but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Picture Blog

2009-10-05T19:29:00.003-06:00

For those of you who didn't see it, I've started a photo blog. The only words will be the title for each post. Otherwise it will just be pictures. Here is the link http://picturesbypangee.blogspot.com/

101 Things in 1001 days

2009-10-05T11:25:00.005-06:00

So my friend, Kimi, who writes a fabulous blog, and column and while reading I was inspired to follow her example and set 101 goals to be accomplish 101 goals in 1001 days. There are rules, and they are as follows: Tasks must be specific (i.e. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (i.e. represent some amount of effort on your part).

I'm going to start today and (Kimi if you read this thanks for the wonderful idea, and I hope you don't mind if I steal some of your goals :) ) my ending date will be July 2, 2012.

I will provide periodic updates for those who are interested

Complete
Incomplete
In Progress

Learn to play all of the hymns in the hymn book
Pay Tithing on every paycheck 0/72 (if my math is correct)
Finish my novel
Paint my windows for each major holiday (Christmas, New Years, Valentines day, Independence day, St Patrick's day, April Fools Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving) 1/20
Learn to play all the songs in the Children's Hymn book
Attend the temple at least once a month 0/35
Write on my blog once a week 1/143
Exercise three times a week each week.
Keep a journal daily 0/1001
Daily personal scripture study 0/1001
Daily family scripture study 0/1001
Make pillows for my couch
Try a new recipe every week 0/143
Reach my goal weight
Get a family portrait
Get new chairs for the dining room
Get a dresser
House train my puppy
Practice Piano daily 1/1001
Spend at least 20 minutes a day cleaning house (excluding vacations) 0/1001
Read 100 new books 0/100
Read the entire Ensign every month 0/35
Pray each morning 1/1001
Take my nieces and nephews sledding
Quit swearing
Prepare 72 hour kits for each member of the family (0/2)
Fill all the soda pop bottles that I have been saving with water
Put $5 into a jar for me for every task completed (0/101)
Submit a picture I've taken to a magazine for publication
Get eyes checked
Print and frame at least one of my own nature photographs
Piece and tie a quilt
Start a Gratitude Journal
Visit a new state
Wear makeup daily 1/1001
Go camping for a weekend
Do something for a neighbor
Donate to friends of scouting
Plant a garden with different kinds of veggies than I've grown before
Make a list of 100 things I like about myself
Make a list of 100 reasons I love my husband and give it to him
Tell Adam I love him every day 1/1001
Complete a "100 Things that Make me Happy"list.
Write Jeremiah every week for the rest of his mission 0/35
Make 3 new friends
Put away part of each paycheck into my savings account
Get a new car
Do my hair every day 1/1001
Have PERSONAL prayer on a daily basis
Get out of Debt
Learn a new language
Start a business
Create a website for my business
Start a photo blog and post to it daily
Go on a romantic weekend getaway with my husband
Sew something I can wear
Try a new restaurant every month or until we have eaten at all the restaurants in Cedar City(0/35)
Read books by 15 new authors 0/15
Have a fireworks display with my family
Go to a parade with my husband
Go on a hike with my husband
Watch 10 inspirational movies 0/10
Send out Christmas cards
Donate 100 items to DI
Only drink soda once a week
Take a vacation
Complete and frame a cross stitch
Go to a play
Do something I'm scared of
Send a Christmas letter to family and friends
Bake and decorate 12 cakes 0/12
Attend a renaissance festival
Give $5 to charity for each goal I don't complete
Get a hutch and display the wedding stuff we have
Submit a poem for publishing
Have a family home evening lesson twice a month 0/71
Have a picnic at a park
Go to the kings feast at Excalibur in Las Vegas
Comment on 3 blogs a month that I read 0/105
Have 3 Girls Night Outs (0/3)
Learn a new word a day 0/1001
Build a snowman
Have a snowball fight
Take a daily multivitamin 1/1001
Put my blog in a book format
Go snorkeling
Clean bathroom once a week
Get bookshelves and display Our books (this may take mroe than one set of bookshelves)
Call my sisters once a week (0/143)
Write a letter to each of my nieces and nephews letting them know why they are special to me.
refinish my vanity and get it out of my parents house
Go on a bike ride with my husband
Learn how to play chess
Have an outdoor movie night
Bake a pie from scratch
Take a picture for each letter of the alphabet
Learn to say thank you and your welcome in 10 languages
Donate 5 gifts to toys for tots
Have Kendra and Golden and Mom and Dad over for a game night three times 0/3
Learn how to make jam
start the whole mess over again

Darkest Before the Dawn

2009-09-11T23:32:00.003-06:00

I'm not that much of a poet, but sometimes I feel the need to express myself through poetry, so people who read my blog will be required to endure.

I Pray for guidance as the world crubmles around me.
The last fading light leaves the sky, as I beg it to set me free.

I grasp at the stars but even they lose their light.
I grasp all around me, flailing, trying to put up a fight.

The I hear a voice in the dark. A whisper so quiet and still,
"Hush now, my child, for I know my will,
Each promise I made, I will fulfill.

Each trial you go though will make you prepared for what is to come,
So when it's all done, you can come home.

When your heart is troubled, and you don't feel you can go on...
Remember these words, 'It's darkest 'fore dawn.'"

I don't have a witty blog post title.

2009-09-05T13:15:00.009-06:00

So I am a slacker. This has been determined in MANY previous posts. But I wanted to hit the highlights of the past....while. The last time I posted I told you about my adventures in Indio, CA. Well we had the chance to head up to see our Gale family and we did a couple of things that are noteworthy. First of all, we added a member of our family.....

His name is Hercules. He's naughty and sweet and loving and such a brat. He chews on my favorite shoes and poops in the house. He eats out of the garbage and hogs the bed. And I absolutely couldn't love him any more. He sits on my feet and follows me around He loves me unconditionally and when I put him in time out, I'm still the first person he runs to when he gets out. We bonded instantly and he's so sweet.

We also took a trip to the cabin where Adam spent every summer until he was probably 16. It was so beautiful, and I was more than a little jealous of the beauty of Mill Hollow, and the unique experience he had. It's one of the places he talks of most fondly. They didn't have TV, or a phone. The only electricity they had was at night for three hours. They would listen to the radio or their mom would read to them, or they would go out and watch the beavers or just look at the stars. I got a glimpse of the beauty of the area and I want to share some of the things I saw with you.....

This was my favorite view of all :)

This was a stream right next to the cabin where he stayed.

This was known as the "old dead tree", although it is not truly dead...it just looks that way. it was on top of a mountain that they hiked to. I, unfortunately didn't Hike it, I just have a good zoom on my camera.

This is Heart lake.

This is my lovely niece Sky. She had a luau at her preschool and this is what she wore! She's such a cutie!

Thanks Mom and Dad Gale for letting us stay with you for an entire week, and letting me work from your home. We love you! Thanks for taking us up to Mill Hollow. It was a great experience.

Red Hair, Red Skin and Killer Pumpkins

2009-07-24T23:21:00.001-06:00

Well it's been almost a month since I've blogged. Sadly, I don't have any pictures from the many many fun things i have managed to squeeze into my life.

I've had two Barbecues. The first one was on June 21st. One was kind of a way to get everyone to my house to see where I live. It was also the first time I ever tried to barbecue using a charcoal grill. It was...interesting. I wasn't sure exactly HOW to use a charcoal grill, and so it took SUPER long to cook everything. It was Okay though because we had a lot of fun. There were races run, cartwheel competitions, push-up competitions and all kinds of physical activity, while we were waiting for our food to cook. (Thanks Dad for your help in finally getting it cooked)

The other was a couple of weeks later for Adams birthday. We found a park that both Adam and I just fell in love with. We set up there and grilled some hamburgers and hot-dogs and then went back to our house and had Ice Cream cake (which we ate for another two weeks).

After that life was quiet for awhile. Until about a week ago. I was starting to feel stressed. Anyone who knows me, knows when I get stressed, my hair bares the brunt. So now instead of black, or even a dark brown or even blonde....I'm a redhead. Think Weasly twins. It was supposed to be auburn, but it's more ginger. It's fun and I actually really like it. I haven't had anyone hesitate to say the like it either. :) So once again, I lucked into it working well for me.

This past week I spent with my family in California. It was a BLAST. While checking in I played tag with Tim, Dewy, Gage and Lacie. It was really fun, but really hot. The whole time it was about 118 with about 20 percent humidity. We were either in the room or in the pool, to try to survive the heat. It was really fun. We played games, and swam, watched movies and ate. The food was fairly healthy (mostly) and all of it was yummy. The only problem was, my sun block was broken. Day one I put on SPF 50 spray suntan lotion, which I used to swear by. By the time I got in, I was in some serious pain, and we are talking about two hours in the sun. The only thing that saved me was my Kukui oil. Day two SPF went down to 30, but I put on rub on sunscreen. So my burn was less sever on day two, but still deepened. On the day we left I don't think that I got anymore burnt, but that's probably because the sun decided to hide behind the few clouds. It was, however, too late. My skin almost matched my hair.

It was a long time without my husband, and I missed him A LOT. When he came to pick me up he had made me some beautiful paper roses. I had so much fun and I REALLY enjoy being with my family, but it was SO good to be back with my sweet husband. When we got back to the house, he took me out back to see my overgrown garden. Even though it was dark. It has become HUGE. My pumpkin plants are taking over the garden. I'm concerned that if their growth doesn't stop soon, they will take over the whole yard. I go to look at my zucchini or summer squash, or even my other pumpkin plants, and they have woven themselves into the plants. They set up anchors and grow spikes. It's almost like something out of a horror movie. Hopefully the pumpkins will be as big as the plants...

How much is that doggie in the window...

2009-06-27T13:30:00.005-06:00

So the other day we had an interesting experience. I was getting ready for the day and I heard a rustling in the other room. Feeling brave, I went to investigate. I knew Adam was upstairs so there were about a hundred thousand thins my mind was thinking it could be. The room was empty so I went to look out the basement window and to my surprise I found this little fellow...

He's a sweet little prarie dog. He was fairly tame but had fallen down the window well and was stuck. So we made a rescue attempt. Well you can imagine he was fairly frightened. So Adam bravely reached down and pulled out the bucket he was in and he took off like a shot. Poor guy was scared to death. Just because I thought he was so quite and sweet here's another picture...

Ever since this incident I've been singing how much is that doggie in the window....poor Adam must be going nuts. Anyway he was really cute and I miss him.

On another note I was really angrey because worked so hard on my garden and it was being eaten alive. I was so frusterated because we couldn't QUITE afford bug killer, so Adam went online and found a way to kill earwigs...in a soup can put about an inch of oil and then add some soy sauce to attract them. Bury the can up to about a quarter inch from the top and put the excess dirt around the edges so they can get it. Well the first night there was about 70 earwigs in the mixtrue. I couldn't believe it. My garden is doing so much better. Thanks Honey for being so wonderful.

Battle of the Weeds and GNO

2009-06-09T13:58:00.005-06:00

So I finally have an area where I can start gardening. I'm really excited about this....and I've already learned a lot. I've learned mostly about weeds, because before you can start planting....you have to get rid of them. I've also learned that the people before us didn't really have much of a garden because some of the weeds I've been battling have roots nearly as thick as two of my fingers that go half way to China! There are some weeds that are like okay, I don't belong here you can take me. These are so easy to pull. Then there are weeds who know they don't belong there but don't want to go. I had to work a little to get them out. Then there are the devils weed. I fought with one for prolly half an hour. I won...mostly. These are the weeds...

As a child we would love these, they have little seeds that look like cheese wheels, so we called them cheesies. We would harvest the "cheese" and eat it. As an adult, I hate them. They hate me. We are not friends, nor will we ever be. I will wage war against these weeds until they have been completely exterminated. At least in my garden. And my lawn. And maybe all of Cedar City.

A brief farewell to our Beta Gus Gus who we will miss. He came with us cross state three times, and I've had him since before we got married. how long are Betas supposed to live? Just looked it up....they should live about 3 years....that's how old he was so I guess that's good.

There is one more thing I would like to post before I go...my mother in law's family has a girls nite once a month it's fun. All the Aunts, Sisters, Cousins, Nieces over the age of 18 get together for dinner. It's a laugh. We have a really good time. I was wondering if anyone down here in Southern Utah would be interested in doing something like that. Leave a comment and let me know and if it's something people are interested in, I will organize it.

Home at last

2009-06-04T22:52:00.002-06:00

Adam think's I've put this off long enough, so I will post about our move....in. It was amazing, dangerous and overwhelming. I'm bruised from head to to (almost literally) but everything is inside and we are in our new place. We couldn't love it anymore. We got here about 11 AM on the 1st of June and got the keys to our new place. The bishop came over and welcomed us to the ward (I've never had that happen before love it here already) and that help would arrive by 5 PM. We started moving some of the lighter boxes inside, and then relaxed for a little while until my parents got here around 3ish. One of the young men came a little after they did and that's when it got busy. I swear to you this boy, Damonie, would have moved the whole truck by himself. But Dad did a good job keeping up with him. A 54 year old Man keeping up with a 12 year old boy who could bench press his mom....pretty impressive. So by the time the EQ and Young Men showed up, all that was left was the couches and the washer and dryer. I did help, I got kicked in the head by a chair, and I don't know what I was carrying when I hit my shin, but I've got a nice bruise there, and the whole heel of my hand has been bruised from setting up the bed....anyway back to the story. A few people showed up around five...and then more people,...and then more people...all in all about 15 people came to help out. I was so greatful I almost cried. They got our couches inside and even set up our washer and dryer. So now we just have piles of boxes everywhere. I will post pictures of our new place when we get it a little more organized, and then I will post what I'm going to do to the place...muah ha ha ha. I have premission for accent walls, and I'm going to make couch covers and pillows for the couches, and I'm getting excited just thinking aobut it. Anyway, it's going to be wonderful, and I finally feel like we have a home...not just a house. I love sitting by the window and looking out and seeing the beautiful mountains, and the sky....We also found out that we are going to be loosing our ward....it's being split up, which makes me sad, even though we haven't been to it yet...we've already been shown so much love. And thank you to all who helped with the move out, and the move in.

In between

2009-05-31T22:38:00.003-06:00

I know you were all dying to know how things went yesterday...So I thought I'd give you a "tweener update" since we are not yet in our new place.

Yesterday was....interesting. We had decided we were going to be 100 % ready to load up by ten regardless so that if we only had help to get everything into the carport we could at least do that. So the night before almost everything was packed, including bedding and I had leaned the beds up against the wall so they would be ready. Where do we sleep you ask? Well because Adam has a bad back he insisted he sleep on the couch, and I would sleep on the floor next to him. He tried to get me to sleep on the couch but I needed him the next day so I insisted he slept on the couch. Well we got to "bed" about two thirty in the morning. I laid there tossing and turning for about an hour before finally settling down. Just as I was about asleep a spider ran across my face. Well that was it. If you know me, you know how I feel about spiders...it's not a positive feeling. I was DONE sleeping on the floor. There was a fold out bed for one person in the oversized chair and I decided that would be where I would rest my head. So round about five thirty or six I finally chilled out enough that I fell asleep. I was really annoyed when the alarm went off at eight for us to get to work cleaning and packing.

We did what we could and rested for a few minutes before the EQP came. We did call him to alert him to the time change, he just came in the morning to make sure that if anyone came they could come back when we had the truck....no one came so it wasn't a big deal. He took some stuff up and put it in the garage and then left so he could come back at two thirty once we had the truck. Right after he left around eleven they called us to go pick up the truck (YAY!!!) That took an hour from us, because the closest one was in Payson...thirty minutes away. When the EQP came back he started hauling some of the heavier stuff up, by himself since no one else came, so I started helping. He thought I was struggling, so I directed. Zach was sick so he wasn't sure he could come, but I begged and pleaeded and offered to buy him dinner and he came and helped. Even though he was feeling like crap. When I got back one other person from the ward had shown up, and Adam's family had been there for a bit and were helping with the cleaning. Even my father in law who probably shouldn't have been lifiting such heavy objects was helping out. I was in the storage shed trying to figure out what should go to the DI and should be loaded moved a box, and found a mouses nest. Mice are another thing I would prefer to steer clear of, and there were three of them staring me down...I won, but only because I started screaming and it startled them into running away. After that I was done with the storage shed, luckily there were only two boxes left in it. So we got loaded (the truck we weren't drinking) and everyone left. Afterward we spent a couple more hours cleaning. The crazy part is we were doing things I dont think had ever been done before (behind the fridge and stove was BLACK...sick) our landlord called and asked us if we were ready, but not before our upstairs neighbor did a preemptive check (she said she'd never seen the apartment so clean thank you very much Adam :)) So I went and filled up the car with gas, and got some snacks and five hour energy shots (with approximately three hours of sleep and a long drive ahead of us you gotta do what ya gotta do.) and drove back to our old place and our landlord was already gone. After cleaning (and I mean ultra cleaning, window tracks and everything) she spent two minutes in the apartment. She checked the stove, the fridge and flicked on a couple of light switches and that was it. I was pretty upset. I mean seriously what was the point?!?! Well she, of course took our keys and we had no where to stay that night so we dedcided to drive down despite the fact that it was 930 at night. It was a long drive, because Adam could only go 60 and we had to stop a bunch of times to stretch and wake ourselves up, and we finally got to my parents house, sore and tired, but safe, around 200 in the morning. I will let you know how the move in went once we get all set up.

Chaos

2009-05-29T16:45:00.002-06:00

Sigh. I'm taking a break from packing to vent. I'm about 80 % ready for this move we had people coming to help us, we were going to be perfectly ready at 10 when everybody got here. Everything in the living room and kitchen so we would only have minor cleaning to do. Well Uhaul called today to confirm our reservation....for 3 PM. fine....except we have to have everything off the floor for the carpet cleaning by....3 PM. If I had a magic wand we wouldn't need the help. Locomotor everything!....well as my magic wand seems to be broken, or nonexistent, take your pick you can see that we are in a little bit of a pickle. Pickles are yummy to eat...not so yummy to be in. So I guess it's time to pray, and hopefully we can get stuff ready to go, and get the big stuff out of here...wish us luck....and keep us in your prayers. When we have internet connection again, I will let all my loyal readers ;) know how it went.

10 Things I've learned from the past year.

2009-05-26T02:32:00.006-06:00

10. I HATE hate hate hate HATE ants. Once they find their way in they never leave....EVER.
9. If there is even a SLIGHT possibility that you need something, don't pack it and put it where you have no idea where it is. Like the ant spray...
8. Make nice with the neighbors, even if they are crazy, and especially if they live right above you.
7. When packing, you will always be short exactly one box.
6. It's better to pack clothes in garbage bags, you can carry more and they are easier to load.
5. The only kind of fish that travels well is betas. Betas NEVER die. unless of course you break their backs (don't ask)
4. Even the worst snow storms end.
3. I miss my husband when I'm not with him. He makes me smile.
2. Even if I go for seven months with out seeing my family, they love me and I love them.
1. I have the best husband in the world. He loves me and cares about me. He makes me laugh and smile. When I'm crying he can always make me see the humor in any situation.

First Sunburn of the season.

2009-05-18T00:30:00.002-06:00

This past Saturday was our big yard sale. You know, the one you have right be fore you move? We got up way earlier than we should have...okay it was only 7 but still...and I hauled four boxes of stuff up our awful stairs and set up. Adam and I sat there for four hours. The first three hours were...lets say an epic failure. Three hours of my time and I got nuthin. Not even a nibble. People would drive past and not even get out and look. Then our neighbors brought out their vacuums. Then people started shopping. At noon we had made $19 bucks...and they made $53. I think it's fair to say, I will not be doing another yard sale.....ever. I really enjoyed my time in the sun, as I always do, and I was so concerned about keeping Adam out of the sun I completely forgot about screening myself. So half my face (I was wearing a hat crooked) a nice v on my neck, and my forearms are crispy fried. I forgot how easy I burn. well I will get over it, and all the extra stuff will end up at the DI, or on craigslist (anyone need a computer moniter? $5 bucks limited time only!) and we will get to our new home....in two weeks....

Happy....Late...Mothers Day

2009-05-13T12:25:00.002-06:00

"Mother is the name of God on the lips and hearts of all children" - The Crow

I have so many mothers in my life that I want to say thank you to.

My Marmie:
Thank you. She is a beautiful woman, inside and out. She is more virtuous and Christlike than anyone I have ever met. She sacrifices so much for anyone in need. She is truly angelic. She is caring and accepting. She has a strong testimony of the gospel and is more loving and caring than anyone I have ever met. She has taught all of her children well. She goes out of her way to make sure we each feel so special. She always came to my performances, and that's saying a lot since I was ALWAYS in something. Whenever I get sick she is right there. Mom is also very humble. I can just see her reading this and feeling a little uncomfortable. Mom don't. you are wonderful and amazing...and I love you.

My mother in law:
Thank you for making me feel so accepted. So many people groan at the thought of spending time with their in laws, I have been so blessed to be a part of the Gale family. I never feel like I have just joined the family. I feel like I have always been a part. I know I am welcome. Again, thank you.

Kendra:
AKA Superwoman. She scrapbooks, she power shops, her house is always spotless and her kids always look great. On top of it all she has time to make jewelry, and has quiet a talent. She is so thoughtful. I don't know how she does it all...I sit back and wonder.

Becky:
Another superwoman. She stands tall when I think I would crumble, and she does it far away from family. She is sweet and thoughtful and great with her kids. She always knows just what to say to me when I'm down. I love you!

Elizabeth:
My dear sister in law, a single mom going through a lot. She always takes time to be with her daughter, and makes sure Sky knows that she is loved, and she will always be supported.

Jill:
She did a lot of work on mom in law's house and she takes care of four kids in a not very big space. I have sooooo much admiration for her.

Jen:
Jen is upbeat and fun. I really enjoy playing games with her because she has that competitive edge. She works with kids all day and comes home to her kid at night. Wow.

Then there are those of us who don't have our own kids yet. Esther and I. We get to play with the kids, sugar them up, wind them up and then send them home. I love all my nieces and nephews and I cant wait to have kids of my own.

There is nothing quite like a mom. I love all the moms in my life! You all rock!

A blink of an eye

2009-04-25T11:20:00.002-06:00

We have officially been married a year. What a year it has been. We went down to visit my family as part of our celebration, and it has been so much fun. we left Saturday morning and stopped on the way down to look at some places to live in Cedar City. I loved one and HATED the other. The one I loved is a two bedroom duplex split level with a fireplace and a big back yard (fenced) 1.5 bathrooms and a big living room. Carpeted, stairs enough storage and covered parking. I walked into the house and there was a good feeling. ANYWAY we finally got to my parents house and we played games with Kendra and Golden's kids. The kids had earned some money so after we played games we went to see Monsters Vs. Aliens. We all really enjoyed it. There was a part where Susan is running away from something and Gage was really concerned for her saftey he shouted out "run big girl run!" We had a good little giggle over that. Another time Susan (who always seems to be in trouble) was taken up to the space ship and Lacie says "oh no, oh no, oh no!" another good chuckle. We had dinner and it was time to settle down a little and get the kids ready for church the next day. Sunday mom had an early meeting so I got to play mom and get the younger kids ready for Church. There were several disasters. Lincolns pants were a little loose, and he forgot a belt. Zach to the rescue! He found a small belt in the botom of his closet. Gager didn't have any church clothes....so he went to church in his jeans and a t-shirt. *gulp* Sorry Kendra. (She always has her kids looking so cute) and Shaunie was upset because she didnt have her CTR ring, or her scriptures. Zach again came to the rescue and found some for her. Lacie....We ran out of pullups. So after sacrament meeting we took her home, because she was soggy enough that she was leaking. *sigh* Kendra nad Golden were on the front page of the paper and Gage got a little nervouse. But when he saw his mom come in all worries were gone, and he was his happy and energetic self again. Mom made a ham, and some AMAZING side dishes and we had a picnic. We took the top layer of our wedding cake, and it was still really yummy! After the picnic we went home and the Johnson kids got to spend some time with thier parents (whom they missed.) Adam, Mom, Dad, Zach and I all played a game which is called "would you rather" and it was quite amusing. Much laughter and hilarity ensued.

Here is where I get to Brag on my brilliant Lincoln and Shaunie. The school recenlty held the imagine compititon and Lincoln and Shaunie did really well. Lincoln got first in piano (he's amazing) First in group Lip Sync and second in litruature. Shaunie got first in group singing, piano and group Lip Sync. Monday was their awards ceremony and the performance catagories got to do their acts. So I went and got to watch my dear niece and nephew perform. They were AEWSOME! That evening we played a little more Would you rather and it was really fun, again. Then, sadly, it was time for us to head back up to the frozen north. well we aren't so frozen right now but you know. On the way home, we got in a little accident. It was dark and we hit the catch bag for a lawn mower. It is the ONE time that we were greatful that a state trooper was following us. We jaked up the car pulled out the bag and got home.

Yesterday I got the Dental work finished (root canal and crown) and we went to Tucanos to do our own private Celbration of the year we have spent together. It was BYU graduation so even though we got there at 11 and they told us it would be 5 minutes it was almost an hour wait....so they gave us one of our meals for free! It was a nice gift for us. So our adventure continues and another year will pass....in the blink of an eye.

Slacker!!!

2009-04-14T12:45:00.004-06:00

Sorry I am such a slacker. I know you've all been wondering what is up in the life of Christy and Adam....well life has been a little loco.

Over the past couple of weeks I have had a root canal, so I've been drugged and kind out of it. Last Friday they finished it and they didn't give me any more pain killers so I was in pain and I had to work. Adam knew I was really struggling when I closed the door so I could focus. So when I came out at the end of my shift I saw this....
Its still hanging on our wall to remind me no matter how crappy I feel, My hubby loves me and that makes thing better.

Now For the FIRST time I couponned for real (I love using that as a verb). This was our haul...
This is :

2 Liptin soup mix
2 Knorr Pasta Side dishes
1 Taco Bell Taco Kit
2 2 liters Diet Pepsi
1 jello no bake cheesecake
4 boxes Betty Crocker potato side dishes
20 Dannon Yogurts
2 cremesicle Ice cream treats
2 Bertolli Frozen meals
1 Rhodes Frozen rolls
1 Country Crock side dish
2 Packages Bacon
subtotal 42.48
tax 1.33
Total 43.81

Total saving 49.12 PLUS we got two coupons for 10 percent off a 50 or more purchase.

so that dosen't suck too bad. Not as good as some of y'all experienced shoppers, but not too bad for a newbie. Anyway....we are looking for a place to live in Cedar City so if you hear of a good deal, let us know!

The grocery store ate my shopping list!!!

2009-03-21T02:07:00.004-06:00

I have detrmined that the universe does not want me to coupon. It's true!! Before you gufaw and snort, hear me out. I threw a lot of my papers in a pile and then when I went to get the coupons, NOT THERE. *sigh* I finally found one coupon, out of two so I Guess 50% isn't bad, and I only found one couponed deal that I was REALLY interested in but oh well.

So I got to the store, and started shopping, I was pretty excited about some of the stuff I was getting, like $4 off on petite serloin stakes (saved $15 right there) and spaghetti O's 2 for a dollar. Then it came to the pork chops. I don't usually buy them so I don't know how good of a deal $1.29 a pound for them is. Anyway I picked them up, tucked my list underneath my arm, bagged the chops and put them in the cart and grabbed shopping list to see what other great deals I had found, and what else we needed that we couldn't get on sale. My hand clasped around empty air. I was so frusterated. We got through shopping, and I spent a total of 83 something. I have no idea how much I saved because Macey's dosen't tell you. So now I feel frusterated, because I spent more than I planned to, and have no clue how to figure out if I saved enough to make it worth it.

So next week...I guess we try again, but if it's like this again, I'm giving up!

There are thou happy

2009-03-15T05:56:00.002-06:00

Okay so I've been having a rough time focusing on the positive recently. When I say a hard time I mean it's been nearly impossible. I've been on a downward spiral, but no more. Starting today I am going to force myself to be happy and look at all the many blessings I have.

There is this scene in Romeo and Juliette where Romeo is in Friar Lawrence "cell" and whining because he's been banished and he's struggling to look at the positive things that are going on in his life. Friar Lawrence pretty much smacks him in the head and gives him about eight reasons that he should take a chill pill, and after each one he tells him there are thou happy so here are my happys....

First, I have the perfect husband for me. He is a worthy priesthood holder. If I am sad he always makes me smile. ALWAYS without fail. I got some ambiguous medical test results and was terrified. He came home with a fuzzy pink bunny and some peeps. He always puts me first, and even when I know he's having a hard time, he thinks of me. He is wonderful and I couldn't ask for a better honey. He tells me I'm beautiful many times a day. What a wonderful man....There are thou happy.

I have a temple marriage, and the gospel in my life. I have a calling that allows me to be around kids while I'm waiting to have my own, and while my family is so far away. There art thou happy.

I have a wonderful and loving family, who supports me and does their best to help me where they can... There art thou happy.

I have a home that allows me to have my own office space, that I can close off when I'm not working. I feel safe in my home and have plenty of food to eat, and clothes to wear. I have a computer and the ability to learn and feel, and make decisions on my own...there art thou happy.

I have a job that I can work from home, and I can continue to work even after I have kids. It also allows me to pay the bills...there art thou happy.

My husband has a good job where he is appreciated, and makes good money....there art thou happy.

I have time to get to know my husband and get to focus on just him and I. We are working to have children and I know the Lord will bless us when the time is right...there art thou happy.

When we were going to go to visit my family we didn't get stranded because our car was breaking down, because we didn't all the way there. I heard a knocking sound as soon as we got on the freeway so we turned around and the car didn't break down, and will last a little longer...there art thou happy.

Big Love? or Destroying something sacred

2009-03-07T23:51:00.002-07:00

Hello,

I checked this out and it is legit.  You can view the following article from TV
guide if you want to see for yourself.

(http://www.tvguidemagsales.com/WeeklyIssues/TVG030909.pdf
> page 48 of 68)

As an entertainment professional, if you would like to protest, I recommend
complaining to both HBO and the FCC:

HBO is owned by Time Warner:
Time Warner Inc.
One Time Warner Center
New York, NY10019-8016
212.484.8000

http://www.hbo.com/apps/submitinfo/contactus/submit.do?title=GeneralInformation&questiontype=generalInformation&questiontype=general

Here are two things your want to RESPECTFULLY say in your own words to HBO:

-I believe it is wrong for HBO to publicly air portions of sacred ceremonies of
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints without permission  from the
church and based on information given you by someone who has left the church and
may harbor bad feelings toward the church and wish to do it harm.

AND THE BIG ONE THAT WILL  ALWAYS GET THEIR ATTENTION:

- If you air such an episode, I will cancel my subscription to all HBO channels
(if you have them), and will not purchase HBO DVDs or any other HBO
entertainment products or packages ever again.  Furthermore, I will encourage my
friends and associates to do likewise.


ANOTHER IMPORTANT THING YOU CAN DO:

The FCC is the government agency that regulates all broadcast and cable
television.  File a complaint expressing your shock and dismay at HBO treating
the sacred ceremonies of any religion with such mockery and disregard, and that
it is shoddy work hiring excommunicated members/enemies of church and giving
them a public pulpit to hurt the church.

To File a complaint with the FCC go to:

http://esupport.fcc.gov/complaints.htm

-Choose "Broadcast (TV and Radio), Cable, and Satellite Issues" and
then click "NEXT."

-Choose "Broadcast programs showing obscene, profane, and/or indecent
material" then click "NEXT."

- Click on "ONLINE FORM"  Fill out the form with your complaint and
submit.


>
>
> Take a look at the attached pdf and consider writing to
> HBO.  I just did.
> This is pretty appalling:
>
> On Sunday March 15th, the HBO show Big Love is showing an
> episode containing an excommunication as well as temple
> ceremonies.
> They hired an ex-member to help re-create the ceremony,
> rooms, and
> clothing.
>
> HBO is owned by Time Warner. Send your emails, snail mails,
> phone calls, to both companies to show HBO that we
> won't stand for
> the use of things we consider sacred on their show Big
> Love, which is using
> a
> replica of an endowment room and celestial room to show
> what happens
> in the ceremonies there! Just keep it within Church
> standards please!
>
> HBO is owned by Time Warner:
> Time Warner Inc.
> One Time Warner Center
> New York, NY10019-8016
> 212.484.8000
>
>
http://www.hbo.com/apps/submitinfo/contactus/submit.do?title=GeneralInformation&questiontype=generalInformation&questiontype=general-----
>
>
> I do not usually forward emails, but this is something that
> I feel strongly
> about and so I wrote a letter to HBO. I really do not think
> it is right to
> air our temple clothing or ceremonies on-air to achieve
> ratings.
>
> Love,
> Alysha
>
>
> I think this is my first forwarded mass email, but I
> verified it for my self on
> line
> (http://www.tvguidemagsales.com/WeeklyIssues/TVG030909.pdf
> page 48 of 68)
>
> and I had a visceral reaction to this.  It involves
> HBO/Time Warner/Big Love
> airing on 3/15 as part of their show their replication of
> temple clothing and
> inside of the temple.  I emailed HBO and will send a letter
> in writing as well
>
> and encourage you to make your voices heard.
>
> Thanks,
> Joseph
>
>
>
> Wendy Crompton
> Religion, Identity, and Global Governance (RIGG)
> University of Southern California
> 310/ 430.3405
>

So this is love...or....Happy birthday to me...

2009-02-21T01:20:00.003-07:00

My dear sweet hubby takes such good care of me. For Valentines day we both had to work, but we had some fun times anyway. We went to Tucanos YUM! They had a valentines day special, and it was fabulous food, beautiful flowers and linens and candles on the table. They also gave us chocolate covered strawberrys and a rose. The only problem was there was a three and a half hour wait. That ended up okay because we went to Boarders and read and look for books. It was the best valentines day I've ever had. You may ask what did my hubby get me for valentines day?? A dryer. I'm super stoked. It get's here on the 25th.

Since my birthday is so close to valumtimes day I thought I would post both at the same time. Today I worked. But my hubby made reservations and we went out to dinner and to see Confessions of a Shopaholic it was really fun. Since my DVD player caught on fire a few days ago, my sweet hubby got me a Blue Ray DVD player! WOO HOO! But he also got me a curling iron! I can do my hair yay! I just want to tell Adam, since he will read this, how much I love and appreciate how hard he works to make me feel so special. He is my knight in shining armor, and I love that he calls me his angel. Thank you Adam!!!

RIght back where I started from...

2009-02-17T21:04:00.005-07:00

So the previous post was my recent trip to California to see Becky and Hyrum's new baby blessed. It was an adventure filled with laughs and tears. The best way to recant this wild and crazy tale is a day by day recap. Lets start at the very beginning....
Thursday morning I got up bright and early, actually it was dark and early. I had to be at the airport by six thirty, which means a four thirty wake up call for Christy YAY! Smooth sailing until I got on the plane...then the ride got a little bumpy. There was a lot of turbulence, and if hadn't been so frightened myself I would have felt sorry for the young family flying with a baby, that cried the whole way. I left a freezing place and landed in paradise. It was a beautifully nice and war day...I couldn't have asked for anything more. I gathered my luggage and waited at the curb. With my flight being early and Becky running a little behind I was at the airport for...lets just say awhile. I had forgotten to send my flight plans ahead, and was starting to wonder if I had told her I would get there at 9 PM instead of 9 AM. This resulted in four collect calls to my dear sweet hubby, and 80 dollars in charges. YIPES! Won't do that again. Luckily Adam is good at correcting my mistakes, and we will only be paying 30 dollars of that. ANYWAY Becky drove around the loop three or four times, and each time she looped, I went inside to make a call. Finally she got out of the car and walked around...this wasn't good planning on my part, but it resulted in me getting a new cell phone he he he. So we stopped at a park and played around before headding out to Disneyland. By the time we got there we were all hungery and so we sat down to eat lunch. The kids were a little dissappointed and just wanted to go ride on the rides, especially Gager. He wanted none of it, in fact he said "You guys said we were going to Disneyland, but we are just eating!!" We had a good chuckle and then finsihed eating and ran far and long to play and stare at the wonder that is Disneyland. Lincoln and Shaunie are both big enough to ride on the grownup rides and so Golden and I took them on spacemountian and Indiana Jones. On space mountian I was afraid Shaunie grabbed onto my arm and held it tight the whole time, which I was totally okay with because she's so tiny I was afraid she was gonna fly out...worry wart Aunt Christy. This day actually made me realize how brave Lincoln is. He looks things he's afraid of in the eye and tackels them. He's a worrier like me, and he told me he needed to go on more scary rides so he wouldn't be so scared of them. On Indiana Jones both Lincoln and Shaunie kept their heads down...it's a pretty intense ride. We were all pretty tired so we only rode one or two more rides and then we packed it in and went home to watch amovie and eat dinner.

Friday morning I started hearing the kids bright and early, and when I pulled the blanket from off my face, there were two little eyes peeking over the edge of the couch. Timmy thought I had enough of sleeping, how sweet of him! We decided to forgo Disneyland until Saturday when Mom and Dad could go with us and head to the Zoo. On the way we decided to get subway sandwiches. I got a Turkey with EVERYTHING but jalapanios (this is important because of what follows) it even had avacados. It was SOOOOOO good. The kids were hungery and so we sat down to eat as soon as we got there. The kids had a plain ham and cheese sandwich. Well Little Miss Lacie took one bite and decided mine looked WAY better. She put her's down and looked at me expectantly and said "bite". So, silly me, I thought, one bite and she will not like it with onions and everything. The little monkey ate four inches of my footlong! She even picked out an onion and ate it! She loved it! The girl has good taste...what can I say. :) We had a lot of fun while at the zoo. :) At one point Becky went to go feed Ellie and left me with Dewy and Timmy, who by the way when going up and down hills throw their hands up in the air and scream, pretneding they are going on a roller coaster, it's really cute. ANYWAY we decided to chill with the giraffes, because they were chillin right by the fences. Well Timmy saw one eating and thought he should feed it....his brand new shoes. Luckily he is not that tough, being only two. We all had a good laugh and Golden had the good senses to use one of the strollers to fish it out. After Becky rejoined us we went to watch the chimps yell at each other (the monkeys not the kids) and eat snacks. We then played on the playground for a few minutes and then it was one more stop and then we were outta there. Lincoln wanted to see the parrot and so we stopped at a little bird enclave. On the way out Gage decided it was his turn to push Lacie, and someone had gotten sick and he stepped right over it despite multiple warnings. About 20 seconds later he stops dead in his tracks, his eyes pops wide open and says "Wait a minute, did I just step in throw up??" After assuring him he didn't, I tossed him up on my shoulders (Timmy was back in the stroller) and Kendra took over pushing Lacie. On the way out I asked Gage if he wanted to stay with the monkeys. He said no and I asked him why not he said "people would say, 'why is there a little boy in there with the monkeys?' I laughed for like five minutes. When we got home, the adults, minus me, went grocery shopping while I played with the kids on a slip n slide (yes in January. A side note about that, Becky gave me the cutest swimsuit for my birthday! Yay! The kids stayed in the water until their lips were blue and the sun went down. There was much wrapping in blankets, and warm jammies after that. They had so much fun. The older two, Lincoln and Shaunie and I stayed up later to watch a movie while the couples went out to dinner (a date AND a babysitter???) FYI if you haven't figured out by this point, I was flying solo. Adam had to work. Lacie woke up, and decided she deffinately did not need to go to bed. She watched the movie a little bit, and then I pulled her into my lap, and asked her if she wanted to go to Disneyland the next morning. Of couse she said yes, and so I reminded her that she needed to go to sleep first. I have never seen a kiddo so eager to go to sleep. Mom and Dad got there and shared their room with me, so I could get some sleep. Mom and Dad had requested a rollaway and the left A sheet. One sheet. Mom and I went to the office to obtain a second sheet and the lady there looked at me like I was crazy. "You need more than one?" oy...My reply was to giggle and say "usually." Mom had a little better tact and said "one for the top and one for the bottom." Yeah....Friday was a fun day :).

Saturday We got an early start so that we could play the WHOLE day at Disneland. Dad, Mom and I went over to becky's place to see if we could all fin into two cars, but there are just too many of us now. We got separated driving, and it took us a while to get regathred. Once we did though, the first thing we did was SPLASH MOUNTAIN!!! Even Gager was tall enough to ride! It was so fun. Gage said it was "super awesome" and subsequently tried, unsucessfully to convince Dewy that it's not scary, it's really fun. We rode pirates of the carribean a couple of times, and space mountian again. We also went on Start Tours. By the end of the day we were all pretty tired by then so we headed home. We helped Becky a little then went back to the Hotel so we could get some sleep for the blessing on Sunday.

Sundy: The day was engulfed with the Blessing and visiting. It was a beautifull blessing and there was really good food and four dozen Krispy Kreme involved. After the Johnsons left, Dewy and Timmy were excited that attention was all theirs. I took some video of Dewing doing somer salts and Dewy and Timmy singing. It was hilarious. That evening we got to hear Sister Julie B Beck speak, and it was beautiful and inspiring. The best part of that was when she shook Mom's hand and Mom about cried. She also commented on Ellie and how beautiful she is. Mom, Dad and I stayed at Becky's house again, and I slept on thier floofy couch.

Monday morning I again woke to two little eyes peering over the side of the couch. I Growled at Timmy and he giggled and ran away. Mom Becky and I took the kiddos and went shopping to get out of Dad's hair while he studied. Shortly after that it was time for me to fly home to my honey!!! It was a happy reunion.

California here I come...

2009-02-17T20:34:00.025-07:00

iPod giveaway

2009-02-09T22:43:00.002-07:00

I subscribe to this awesome blog called "cent"sible sawyer. Finds all kinds of deals check it out for a chance to win an iPod touch here, and good luck!

Sometimes you feel like a nut

2009-01-20T09:26:00.005-07:00

Okay, so yesterday was one of those Alexanders no good very bad days, but today will be better. I want to blog about the two major events that happened since I last blogged. I will in chronological order...

YAY FOR CHRISTMAS!

We had plans to go and spend Christmas with my family, but that didn't happen because Adam and I were both too sick, and we didn't want to get my sisters brand new baby sick. So we had our own little Christmas by ourselves. Adam stayed up til 6 cleaning, then he woke me up to open presents because he couldn't wait anymore. Adam surprised me with Guitar Hero and a sewing machine! I am so excited. He got a bunch of little stuff like a foot massager, and uno attacks, becuase he refused to tell me what he wanted for Christmas. It was cute. As soon as we opened presents Adam went to bed and I played guitar hero. It was a good time, until I fell asleep playing, at which time I took a nap. Then I woke up and started dinner. I made my first ham! It was soooo good, but it was huge and we STILL have some left in the freezer.

PJ elf came to visit Christmas eve and this was the results.

This was my first attempt at a ham. turned out REALLY good. :D

THis is one of the ways that Adam let me know that he loves me.

New years eve was pretty much the same. We were planning on going to a party but it was cancelled at the last minute so I went to the store and got some treats and we celebrated our first new year together as a couple watching movies, playing games and I got my first new years kiss. It was very very pleasant Well I love you all and hope you are having a great new year!

The Lasst Straw

2008-12-21T13:28:00.000-07:00

This story was shared in the ward Christmas Program today...it was really touching.

By: Paula McDonald

To truly share this season of love and laughter, even a little boy must first discover Christmas in his heart....

Everyone, unfortunately, was cooped up in the house that typical gray winter afternoon. And, as usual, the four little McNeals were at it again, teasing each other, squabbling, bickering, and always fighting over their toys.

At times like this, Ellen was almost ready to believe that her children didn't love each other, even though she knew that wasn't true. All brothers and sisters fight sometimes, of course, but lately her lively little bunch had been particularly horrid to each other, especially Eric and Kelly, who were only a year apart. The two of them seemed determined to spend the whole long winter making each other miserable.

"Give me that. It's mine!" Kelly screamed, her voice shrill.

It is not! I had it first," Eric answered stubbornly.

Ellen sighed as she listened to the latest argument. With Christmas only a month away, the house seemed sadly lacking in Christmas spirit. This was supposed to be the season of sharing and love, of warm feelings and happy hearts. A home needed more than just pretty packages and twinkling lights on a tree to fill the holidays with joy.

Ellen had only one idea. Years ago, her grandmother had told her about an old custom that helped people discover the true meaning of Christmas. Perhaps it would work for her family this year. It was certainly worth a try.

She gathered the children together and lined them up on the couch, tallest to smallest - Eric, Kelly, Lisa and Mike.

"How would you kids like to start a new Christmas tradition this year?" she asked. "It's like a game, but it can only be played by people who can keep a secret. Can everyone here do that?

"I can!" shouted Eric.

"I can keep a secret better than him!" yelled Kelly.

"I can do it!" chimed in Lisa.

"Me too. Me too," squealed little Mike. "I'm big enough."

"Well then, this is how the game works," Ellen explained. "This year we're going to surprise Baby Jesus when He comes on Christmas Eve by making Him the softest bed in the world. We're going to fill a little crib with straw to make it comfortable. But here's the secret part. The straw we put in will measure the good deeds we've done, but we won't tell anyone who we're doing them for."

The children looked confused. "But how will Jesus know it's His bed!" Kelly asked.

"He'll know," said Ellen. "He'll recognize it by the love we put in to make it soft."

"But who will we do the good deed for?" asked Eric, still a little confused.

"We'll do them for each other. Once a week we'll put all of our names in a hat, Daddy's and mine too. Then we'll each pick out a different name. Whoever's name we draw, we'll do kind things for that person for a whole week. But you can't tell anyone else whose name you've chosen. We'll each try to do as many favors for our special person as we can without getting caught. And for every good deed we do, we'll put another straw in the crib."

"Like being a spy!" squealed Lisa.

"But what if I pick someone's name that I don't like?" Kelly frowned.

Ellen thought about that for a minute. "Maybe you could use an extra fat piece of straw. And think how much faster the fat straws will fill up our crib. We'll use the cradle in the attic," she said. "And we can all go to the field behind the school for the straw."

Without a single argument, the children bundled into their wool hats and mittens, laughing and tumbling out of the house. The field had been covered with tall grass in summer, but now, dead and dried, the golden stalks looked just like real straw. They carefully selected handfuls and placed them in the large box they had carried with them.

"That's enough," Ellen laughed when the box was almost overflowing. "Remember it's only a small cradle."

So home they went to spread their straw carefully on a large tray Ellen never used. Eric, because he was the eldest, was given the responsibility of climbing into the attic and bringing down the cradle.

"We'll pick names as soon as Daddy comes home for dinner, Ellen said, unable to hide a smile at the thought of Mark's pleased reaction to the children's transformed faces and their voices, filled now with excited anticipation rather than annoyance.

At the supper table that night, six pieces of paper were folded, shuffled and shaken around in Mark's furry winter hat, and the drawing began. Kelly picked a name first and immediately started to giggle. Lisa reached into the hat next, trying hard to look like a serious spy. Mike couldn't read yet, so Mark whispered the name in his ear. Then Mike quickly ate his little wad of paper so no one would ever learn the identity of his secret person. Eric was the next to choose, and as he unfolded his scrap of paper, a frown creased his forehead. But he stuffed the name quickly into his pocket and said nothing. Ellen and Mark selected names and the family was ready to begin.

The week that followed was filled with surprises; it seemed the McNeal house had suddenly been invaded by an army of invisible elves. Kelly would walk into her room at bedtime to find her nightgown neatly laid out and her bed turned down. Someone cleaned up the sawdust under the workbench without being asked. The jelly blobs magically disappeared from the kitchen counter after lunch one day while Ellen was out getting the mail. And every morning, when Eric was brushing his teeth, someone crept quietly into his room and made the bed. It wasn't made perfectly, but it was made. That particular little elf must have had short arms because he couldn't seem to reach the middle.

"Where are my shoes?" Mark asked one morning. No one seemed to know, but suddenly, before he left for work, they were back in the closet again, freshly shined.

Ellen noticed other changes during that week too. The children weren't teasing or fighting as much. An argument would start, and then suddenly stop right in the middle for no apparent reason. Even Eric and Kelly seemed to be getting, along better and bickering less. In fact, there were times when all the children could be seen smiling secret smiles and giggling to themselves. And slowly, one by one, the first straws began to appear in the little crib. Just a few, then a few more each day. By the end of the first week, a little pile had accumulated.

Everyone was anxious to pick new names and this time there was more laughter and merriment than there had been the first time. Except for Eric. Once again, he unfolded his scrap of paper, glanced at it, and stuffed it in his pocket without a word.

The second week brought more astonishing events, and the little pile of straw in the manger grew higher and softer. There was more laughter, less teasing, and hardly any arguments could be heard around the house. Only Eric had been unusually quiet, and sometimes Ellen would catch him looking a little sad. But the straws in the manger continued to pile up.

At last, it was almost Christmas. They chose names for the final time on the night before Christmas Eve. As the sat around the table waiting for the last set of names to be shaken in the hat, the children smiled as they looked at their hefty pile of straws. They all knew it was comfortable and soft, but there was one day left and they could still make it a little deeper, a little softer, and they were going to try.

For the last time the hat was passed around the table. Mike Picked out a name, and again quickly ate the paper as he had done each week. Lisa unfolded hers carefully under the table, peeked at it and then hunched up her little shoulders, smiling. Kelly reached into the hat and grinned from ear to ear when she saw the name. Ellen and Mark each took their turn and handed the hat with the last name to Eric. As he unfolded the scrap of paper and glanced at it, his face crumpled and he seemed about to cry. Without a word, he turned and ran from the room.

Everyone immediately jumped up from the table, but Ellen stopped them. "No!" Stay where you are," she said firmly. "I'll go."

In his room, Eric was trying to pull on his coat with one hand while he picked up a small cardboard suitcase with the other.

"I'll have to leave," he said quietly through his tears. "If I don't, I'll spoil Christmas."

"But why? And where are you going?"

"I can sleep in my snow fort for a couple of days. I'll come home right after Christmas. I promise."

Ellen started to say something about freezing and snow and no mittens or boots, but Mark, who had come up behind her, gently laid his hand on her arm and shook his head. The front door closed, and together they watched from the window as the little figure with the sadly slumped shoulders trudged across the street and sat down on a snow bank near the corner. It was dark outside, and cold, and a few flurries drifted down on the small boy and his suitcase.

"Give him a few minutes alone," said Mark quietly. I think he needs that. Then you can talk to him."

The huddled figure was already dusted with white when Ellen walked across the street and sat down beside him on the snow bank.

"What is it, Eric? You've been so good these last weeks, but I know something's been bothering you since we first started the crib. Can you tell me, honey?"

Ah, Mom . . . don't you see?" he sniffled. "I tried so hard, but I can't do to it anymore, and now I'm going to wreck Christmas for everybody. With that, he burst into sobs and threw himself into his mother s arms.

"Mom." The little boy choked. "You just don't know, I got Kelly's name every time! And I hate Kelly! I tried Mom. I really did. I snuck in her room every night and fixed her bed. I even laid out her crummy nightgown. I let her use my race car one day, but she smashed it right into the wall like always! Every week, when we picked names, I thought it would be over. Tonight,

when I got her name again, I knew I couldn't do it anymore. If I try, I'll probably punch her instead. If I stay home and beat Kelly up. I'll spoil Christmas for everyone."

The two of them sat there, together, quietly for a few minutes and then Ellen spoke softly. "Eric I'm so proud of you. Every good deed you did should count double because it was hard for you to be nice to Kelly for so long, but you did those good deeds anyway, one straw at a time. You gave your love when it wasn't easy to give. And maybe that's what the spirit of Christmas is really all about. And maybe it's the hard good deeds and the difficult straws that make that little crib special. You're the one who's probably added the most important straws this year." Ellen paused, stroking the head pressed tightly against her shoulder. "Now, how would you like a chance to earn a few easy straws like the rest of us? I still have the name I picked in my pocket, and I haven't looked at it yet. Why don't we switch, for the last day? And it will be our secret."

Eric lifted his head and looked into her face, his eyes wide. "That's not cheating?"

"It's not cheating." And together they dried the tears, brushed off the snow, and walked back to the house.

The next day, the whole family was busy, cooking and straightening up the house for Christmas Day, wrapping last minute presents and trying hard to keep from bursting with excitement. But even with all the activity and eagerness, a flurry of new straws piled up in the crib, and by nightfall the little manger was almost overflowing. At different times while passing by, each member of the family, big and small, would pause and look at the wondrous pile for a moment, then smile before going on. But . . . who could really know? One more straw still might make a difference.

For that reason, just before bedtime, Ellen tiptoed quietly to Kelly's room to lay out the little blue nightgown and turn down the bed. But she stopped in the doorway surprised. Someone had already been there. The nightgown was laid across the bed, and a small red race car had been placed next to it on the pillow.

The last straw was Eric's after all.

Merry Christams

2008-12-17T21:51:00.011-07:00

My hubby is so sweet. He went to shave his head the other day and came out and this is what he did

A heart because he loves me so much :) It was really sweet. He shaved it as soon as I took the picture so that he could look professional for work.

Another thing that happened this past week we started celebrating Christmas! Woo hoo! This past Saturday we went with the Gale family to see "Babes in toyland" and we went to dinner and then to the temple lights. It was really fun. I love to see the magic that Christmas brings, and the excitement on the kids face when they get to see Santa Clause is euqal only to when they see Disneyland :D.

That being said, I wrote a poem in church on Sundayand I wanted to share it. it's called Christmas

It's not about ribbons, it's not about bows,
It's not about snow that sticks on your nose.
It's not about toys, that make all the noise,
Or even 'bout Santa, or good girls and boys.

It IS about a babe, born long, long ago,
who saved our souls from being tossed to and fro.
It IS 'bout love, both gi'vn and recieved,
it is about heaven so don' be decieved;
When you lay your head down on that next Christmas night,
Remember what happened, to give us all light.

These pictures were all taken at Temple square after the play.

Rant

2008-12-05T18:58:00.002-07:00

I've been ranting a lot lately. I promise this is the last time for awhile. FIRST some AWESOME news! I got a promotion at work! I get to stay home and be a virtual team lead! It's awesome! I get a one time allowance to help me set up the office, and they are going to pay for my internet every month, which is AWESOME. Once I get trained, Adam gets the car all the time, and I can stay at home and not be quite so stressed out about everything. I'm very excited!

Now for my rant. America was founded on Christian principles. It exsists so people can believe what the believe, without fear of persecution. I am thrilled that Prop 8 passed. It has nothing to do with denying rights to anybody, it has to do with retaining my own freedom. For you who opposed prop 8, its over. Leave it alone. You are preaching tolerance and open mindedness, but doesn't that seem a little hypocritical?" You don't like how I live my life, so I'm going to make you accept it?"

Things like the march on Salt Lake City, Prop 8 the musical (don't watch it, if you don't want to be offended) burning the Book of Mormon inside our churches, SHOOTING up our chruches trying to make us afriad to worship and express our beliefs is NOT tolerance. You say that we spread lies, but what about your lies? Your actions are made to terrorize us into bending to your will. This is not a communist country. This is a Representitive Democracy. The people have spoken. I personally will NOT let your fear tactics dictate my life! I will continue to live by my beliefs, following my Saviors teachings, and trying to become a better person each day. I'm not sorry for how I believe and while I believe that God loves you, as much as he loves me, I will NOT bend in the truth!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

2008-11-27T21:19:00.010-07:00

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!!

So I decorated our tree today, and took some pictures of our apartment, so here you go...if you were wondering what where we lived look
like.
Our kitchen

Dining room

Christmas Decorations O Christmas Tree, o Christmas tree
Living Room
The opposite view of the living room if you look close you can see that we are watching the Thanksgiving "House" marathon.
The second bedroom. It's bigger than it looks.
The bathroom...it's not bigger than it looks :)

I want one to!

2008-11-26T19:49:00.005-07:00

So I've been thinking about this for a long time. I got my haircut. It looks like Kendra's...only rounder. Well I'll let you look at it.

Another thing, my nephews and nieces are so funny! Watch this video...

Chuck Norris is NEVER wrong.

2008-11-22T11:51:00.002-07:00

"Protestors of Proposition 8 in California (the marriage amendment) shoved aside a 69-year-old woman who was bearing a cross. They reportedly spit on her and stomped on her cross. They then aligned themselves in a human barricade, blocking the media from getting to or interviewing the woman.

Prop. 8 supporter Jose Nunez, 37, was assaulted brutally while distributing yard signs to other supporters after church services at the St. Stanislaus Parish in Modesto.

Calvary Chapel Chino Hills was spray painted by vandals after they learned that the church served as an official collection point for Prop. 8 petitions.

Letters containing white powder (obviously mimicking anthrax) were sent to the Salt Lake City headquarters of the Mormon church and to a temple in Los Angeles. (Thankfully, the FBI said the substance was nontoxic.)

The 25-year artistic director of the California Musical Theatre, who also happens to be a Mormon, was muscled to resign because of his $1,000 donation to the campaign to ban gay marriage in California.

A pro-homosexual, pro-anarchy organization named Bash Back marched into the middle of a church service and flung fliers and condoms to the congregants. They also hung a banner from the balcony that featured two lesbians in provocative positions at the pulpit.

And lastly, the tolerance-preaching activists also have taken their anger to the blogosphere, where posts have planted ideas ranging from burning churches to storming the citadels of government until our society is forced to overturn Prop. 8. You even can find donor blacklists online. The lists include everyone who financially backed Prop. 8 -- even those who gave as little as $46 -- with the obvious objective that these individuals will be bantered and boycotted for doing so.

What's wrong with this picture? Lots.

First, there's the obvious inability of the minority to accept the will of the majority. Californians have spoken twice, through the elections in 2000 and 2008. Nearly every county across the state (including Los Angeles County) voted to amend the state constitution in favor of traditional marriage.

Nevertheless, bitter activists simply cannot accept the outcome as being truly reflective of the general public. So they have placed the brainwashing blame upon the crusading and misleading zealotry of those religious villains: the Catholics, evangelical Protestants, and especially Mormons, who allegedly are robbing the rights of American citizens by merely executing their right to vote and standing upon their moral convictions and traditional views.

What's surprising (or maybe not so) is that even though 70 percent of African-Americans voted in favor of Proposition 8, protests against black churches are virtually nonexistent. And everyone knows exactly why: Such actions would be viewed as racist. Yet these opponents of Prop. 8 can protest vehemently and shout obscenities in front of Mormon temples without ever being accused of religious bigotry. There's a clear double standard in our society. Where are the hate-crime cops when religious conservatives need them?

There were many of us who passionately opposed Obama, but you don't see us protesting in the streets or crying "unfair." Rather, we are submitting to a democratic process and now asking how we can support "our" president. Just because we don't like the election outcome doesn't give us the right to bully those who oppose us. In other words, if democracy doesn't tip our direction, we don't swing to anarchy. That would be like the Wild West, the resurrection of which seems to be happening in these postelection protests.

I agree with Prison Fellowship's founder, Chuck Colson, who wrote: "This is an outrage. What hypocrisy from those who spend all of their time preaching tolerance to the rest of us! How dare they threaten and attack political opponents? We live in a democratic country, not a banana republic ruled by thugs."

Regardless of one's opinion of Proposition 8, it is flat-out wrong and un-American to intimidate and harass individuals, churches and businesses that are guilty of nothing more than participating in the democratic process. Political protests are one thing, but when old-fashioned bullying techniques are used that restrict voting liberties and even prompt fear of safety, activists have crossed a line. There is a difference between respectfully advocating one's civil rights and demanding public endorsement of what many still consider to be unnatural sexual behavior through cruel coercion and repression tactics. One thing is for sure: The days of peaceful marches, such as those headed up by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., seem to be long gone.

The truth is that the great majority of Prop. 8 advocates are not bigots or hatemongers. They are American citizens who are following 5,000 years of human history and the belief of every major people and religion: Marriage is a sacred union between a man and a woman. Their pro-Prop. 8 votes weren't intended to deprive any group of its rights; they were safeguarding their honest convictions regarding the boundaries of marriage.

On Nov. 4, the pro-gay community obviously was flabbergasted that a state that generally leans left actually voted right when it came to holy matrimony. But that's exactly what happened; the majority of Californians -- red, yellow, black and white -- voted to define the margins of marriage as being between one man and one woman. California is the 30th state in our union to amend its constitution in doing so, joining Florida and Arizona in this election. Like it or not, it's the law now. The people have spoken."

---Chuck Norris

Another Tag

2008-11-17T18:23:00.003-07:00

Rules: Bold the things you’ve done. (I starred it because I have bold on so it's easier to read my stuff)

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain*
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula*
07. Taken a candle lit dinner with someone
08. Said "I love you" and meant it*
09. Hugged a tree*
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise*
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game*
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars*
20. Changed a baby's diaper*
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity*
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope*
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment*
27. Had a food fight*
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight*
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can*
32. Held a lamb In Ireland. Very cute and pastoral.
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster*
35. Hit a home run*
36. Danced like a fool and didn't care who was looking*
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day*
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment*
39. Had two hard drives for your computer*
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends*
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip*
48. Gone rock climbing*
49. Taken a midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love*
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs*
57. Pretended to be a superhero*
58. Sung karaoke*
59. Lounged around in bed all day*
60. Played touch football*
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud*
64. Played in the rain*
65. Gone to a drive-in theater*
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business*
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken*
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married*
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for five days
77. Made cookies from scratch*
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the snake river
82. Been on a television news program as an "expert"
83. Gotten flowers for no reason*
84. Performed on stage*
85. Been to Las Vegas*
86. Recorded music*
87. Eaten shark*
88. Kissed on the first date*
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one or both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language frequently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Passed out cold*
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over*
101. Walked on golden gate bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking*
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived*
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they wer having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109.Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone's heart*
111. Helped an animal give birth*
112. Won money on a TV game show
113. Broken a bone*
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol*
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse*
119. Had major surgery*
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for 30 hours in a 48 hour period*
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. States
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi*
128. Had your picture in the newspaper*
129. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about*
130. Gone back to school*
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach*
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes*
134. Read the Iliad and the Odessey
135. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read*
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating*
137. Skipped all your school reunions*
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language*
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream*
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care*
143. Built your own PC from parts*
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you*
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair*
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident*
150. Shaved someone's head

I tag Kendra Becky and Dad

Your a mean one Mr. Grinch....

2008-11-17T16:33:00.002-07:00

Okay, so I'm struggling. I tried to be friends with our upstairs neighbor, which is apparently not going to work out. Here is the back story.

When we moved up here, our apartment wasn't ready, so we put all of our stuff in storage. There is a storage shed in the back that we put some of our stuff in. Well, every time I try to bring it down I get sick, AND our couch doesn't fit down the stairwell, so it has stayed in the shed. Well when I got home from work on Wednesday, she cornered me and told me it was time to get my stuff out of her shed. (This shed I understood I was to have access to). I told her I would get it done as soon as I could. Well Saturday morning she rings the bell and told Adam that we had to get our stuff out, and that I had been told THREE DAYS ago that we had to get it out, and it had to be done today. No one likes being told what to do, and I understand that she is 7 months pregnant, so I went and made her stuff easily accessible and even offered to help her get the stuff she needed. Well that wasn't good enough. She called our landlord and complained. So now, I'm going to have to haul all the stuff in from downstairs, because Adam's back is bad.

I'm trying to really hard to be understanding, and forgiving, but she is making it very hard. I do want to have an amicable relationship with them. Any suggestions?

We need a little Christmas...

2008-11-08T18:41:00.005-07:00

Well it's been, what two weeks? Three? My life has once again fallen into a routine. Although, I must admit...I have started decorating for Christmas. I have a little village that I have that I put up, and I like to add to it each year. It's set up, and up to six little houses, but there are no little people. I will post pictures, at the same time I post pictures of our apartment, which will happen when we are mostly set up. We have lots of books, and no book shelves, so they are going into storage until we get one or two.

We are loving our new place. Our upstairs neighbors donated an entertainment center that they were getting rid of so that's nice. I love being able to use my own things. I have been cooking a lot more and I love it. I'm back working at Convergys, and have applied for a couple of Team Lead positions, one of which is at home, which would be FABULOUS, so I could use your prayers with that one. Anyway, my cell phone is gone, and if you want my new number leave a comment and I will email it to you personally. I don't want any psychos stalking us. Just Kidding. Kind of. Okay I'm rambling! Love you all!

Little Goodbyes.....

2008-10-22T19:43:00.005-06:00

Well today was my last day at laser mania. I am once again (temporarily) in among the ranks of the unemployed...until Monday when I start back at Convergys. So for a few days I say good bye to the working world. It was rather unceremonious, and my boss even had me go home early. So with a hug from his wife and a handshake from him, I was on my way out the door. Now I have to pay for laser tag....who knew.

Another little good bye...I said to my car. We are now a one car family. It will work for now. But Bellatrix was a good car. We needed the money more than we needed the car so away she went. She has a good home now....with a nice family on a farm. Oh wait. It was a mechanic. So he will know her needs, and make his kids take good care of her.

Gager update. Last night I had a going away party with Kendra's kids. I had some chocolate, and I told them they had to buy it with a kiss. Gage came and gave me a kiss and Adam said "EEEEEEEEEWWW!" Gage was not pleased. He shouted at the top of his lungs "IT"S NOT GROSS! IT'S LOVE!" We all had a good giggle about that. Anyway, gotta get ready for the big move!

A good point...

2008-10-19T17:26:00.004-06:00

My Dad sent me this article on Prop 8...thought you California types might enjoy it.

I'm a liberal Democrat. And I do not favor same-sex marriage. Do those positions sound contradictory? To me, they fit together.

Many seem to believe that marriage is simply a private love relationship between two people. They accept this view, in part, because Americans have increasingly emphasized and come to value the intimate, emotional side of marriage, and in part because almost all opinion leaders today, from journalists to judges, strongly embrace this position. That's certainly the idea that underpinned the California Supreme Court's legalization of same-sex marriage.

But I spent a year studying the history and anthropology of marriage, and I've come to a different conclusion.

Marriage as a human institution is constantly evolving, and many of its features vary across groups and cultures. But there is one constant. In all societies, marriage shapes the rights and obligations of parenthood. Among us humans, the scholars report, marriage is not primarily a license to have sex. Nor is it primarily a license to receive benefits or social recognition. It is primarily a license to have children.

In this sense, marriage is a gift that society bestows on its next generation. Marriage (and only marriage) unites the three core dimensions of parenthood -- biological, social and legal -- into one pro-child form: the married couple. Marriage says to a child: The man and the woman whose sexual union made you will also be there to love and raise you. Marriage says to society as a whole: For every child born, there is a recognized mother and a father, accountable to the child and to each other.

These days, because of the gay marriage debate, one can be sent to bed without supper for saying such things. But until very recently, almost no one denied this core fact about marriage. Summing up the cross-cultural evidence, the anthropologist Helen Fisher in 1992 put it simply: "People wed primarily to reproduce." The philosopher and Nobel laureate Bertrand Russell, certainly no friend of conventional sexual morality, was only repeating the obvious a few decades earlier when he concluded that "it is through children alone that sexual relations become important to society, and worthy to be taken cognizance of by a legal institution."

Marriage is society's most pro-child institution. In 2002 -- just moments before it became highly unfashionable to say so -- a team of researchers from Child Trends, a nonpartisan research center, reported that "family structure clearly matters for children, and the family structure that helps children the most is a family headed by two biological parents in a low-conflict marriage."

All our scholarly instruments seem to agree: For healthy development, what a child needs more than anything else is the mother and father who together made the child, who love the child and love each other.

For these reasons, children have the right, insofar as society can make it possible, to know and to be cared for by the two parents who brought them into this world. The foundational human rights document in the world today regarding children, the 1989 U.N. Convention on the Rights of the Child, specifically guarantees children this right. The last time I checked, liberals like me were supposed to be in favor of internationally recognized human rights, particularly concerning children, who are typically society's most voiceless and vulnerable group. Or have I now said something I shouldn't?

Every child being raised by gay or lesbian couples will be denied his birthright to both parents who made him. Every single one. Moreover, losing that right will not be a consequence of something that at least most of us view as tragic, such as a marriage that didn't last, or an unexpected pregnancy where the father-to-be has no intention of sticking around. On the contrary, in the case of same-sex marriage and the children of those unions, it will be explained to everyone, including the children, that something wonderful has happened!

For me, what we are encouraged or permitted to say, or not say, to one another about what our society owes its children is crucially important in the debate over initiatives like California's Proposition 8, which would reinstate marriage's customary man-woman form. Do you think that every child deserves his mother and father, with adoption available for those children whose natural parents cannot care for them? Do you suspect that fathers and mothers are different from one another? Do you imagine that biological ties matter to children? How many parents per child is best? Do you think that "two" is a better answer than one, three, four or whatever? If you do, be careful. In making the case for same-sex marriage, more than a few grown-ups will be quite willing to question your integrity and goodwill. Children, of course, are rarely consulted.

The liberal philosopher Isaiah Berlin famously argued that, in many cases, the real conflict we face is not good versus bad but good versus good. Reducing homophobia is good. Protecting the birthright of the child is good. How should we reason together as a society when these two good things conflict?

Here is my reasoning. I reject homophobia and believe in the equal dignity of gay and lesbian love. Because I also believe with all my heart in the right of the child to the mother and father who made her, I believe that we as a society should seek to maintain and to strengthen the only human institution -- marriage -- that is specifically intended to safeguard that right and make it real for our children.

Legalized same-sex marriage almost certainly benefits those same-sex couples who choose to marry, as well as the children being raised in those homes. But changing the meaning of marriage to accommodate homosexual orientation further and perhaps definitively undermines for all of us the very thing -- the gift, the birthright -- that is marriage's most distinctive contribution to human society. That's a change that, in the final analysis, I cannot support.

David Blankenhorn is president of the New York-based Institute for American Values and the author of "The Future of Marriage."

Wa are not homeless....

2008-10-17T08:48:00.002-06:00

Yay! At the beginning of the week when went to Provo looking for an apartment, and we found an idealistic one. 1100 square feet, two bedrooms one bath huge kitchen, washer/dryer hookups and tons and tons of storage. On top of all that goodness, it's about a mile from my work. We have been praying VERY hard that we would get this place. At approximately 8:30 this morning, we got a call from OUR NEW LANDLORD!!!! We got the apartment! I'm so excited :)

Also, it needs to be known (Per my mom) that she ended up with the high score on the DDR, and that the video I shot was her first time doing it. She got pretty good with a score of 21000!

Dance Dance Revolution.....

2008-10-12T15:45:00.005-06:00

I had a DDR mat that was getting rid of and Mom snatched it up, and here are the results....

Much hilarity ensued....

Torn

2008-10-11T20:54:00.006-06:00

I'm lamenting tonight. Just be forewarned. Adam and I are leaving Southern Utah. We have been told that it's time for a new adventure. So we move to the frozen north. I was so excited to move here, and miss winter (well mostly), and now I feel like Laman. "Fine, I'll do it, but I won't do it willingly." I should be grateful, that's how I felt when I went on a mission....I didn't want to go, but I loved it so much. Maybe something truly wonderful will happen who knows. But, I hate leaving my family. I feel like I miss so much. Every time I turn around my nieces and nephews are pulling some new trick, and getting older. I don't even get to stay for Halloween :(. But I will go and do. On the plus side, I have some incredible friends up in Provo, and I miss them like crazy...so I'm excited to see them again! There are lots of new adventrues to be had, and I will get a white Christmas.

Looking on the bright side of life, I have an amazing husband. I've been having kind of a rough time with some things and my Adam was very aware of this (sorry honey) and he spent the night placing little postit notes all over the house for me to find, saying things like "Christy is the smartest ever" or "Christy is breatakingly beautiful." Thinking of that all day made me smile, and things seemed to go a little bit better. Thank you Adam. You are wonderful.

A third thought. I am so grateful for the military service men and women. There is a lot of ugly in the world, and we live in a dangerous time. These wonderful men and women are out there spending their lives to protect our right to protest what they are doing. So...troops, I salute you and thank you. I will do what I can to support you!

And now....RANDOM PICTURE TIME!!! Since I missed so much in photos, I'm going to just post a couple each time, and tell everyone about them. soo....

This is my nephew Gager, at our Grandpa's 81st birthday (happy birthday Grandpa!) Our Aunt Colleene had her Chihuahua there and all the kids loved it! (a little too much prolly) But I got this really cute picture of him :)

Aint no cure for the summer time blues.

2008-10-04T23:20:00.006-06:00

Just more pictures.

We spent the 4th and the 24th with the Gales, and went out to the farmers market. Our niece Sky wanted to get her face panted, but got nervous and had her arm painted.

She's all about fashion so of course the cool glasses came out.

Mom Gale dosen't like the sun, she burns and had to wear a hat. She looked SO cute :)!

I will have to do more later. Internet troubles!

I got a golden ticket....

2008-10-04T22:27:00.008-06:00

or a red ticket, or a green ticket or any color ticket. It doesn't matter...as long as there is a huge pile of them. Working where I work, I get a lot of chances to watch little kids. Kids get SOOOOOO excited when they have a big pile of tickets to spend. The more the merrier! They now have arcade games that gives you a tickets, they give you a receipt with the number of tickets you have. No way no how. There is no better feeling than having a WHOLE bunch of tickets in your hands...you won something AWESOME! Then you trade it in for a trinket or some little piece of candy or something. There was a kid, while I was working today, who won about 250 tickets. Now you can get like a whopee coushin or something like that with that many tickets, so your starting to get into the good stuff, but it's not totally there, but he was so excited that he had this HUGE handful of tickets that he had his friend take a picture. It's awesome.

Now moving on, the reason I have been neglecting my blog is I've been spending some time scanning my Dad's pictures to digital format, so I can clean them up and create a slide show of them. As an example:

This picture is one of 422 that I have the privlage of cleaning up and fixing. I'm really excited about that. It's a unique opportunity to view these pictures and have my dad sitting here as I correct them and give me the history behind them. It's really cool. So that's been keeping me busy.

ALSO we spent this last weekend up in Heber with the Gale family. It was our Nephew Gavin's 1st birthday! Happy Birthday buddy! It was loads of fun. He got his own birthday cake and had a grand old time with it....more painting his body with the blue frosting than eating it though. He was rather suspicious of the whole process. But he eventually got the hang of it. He got a ball and hardly wanted to play with anything else. He had such a good time, as indicated by the mess on his cute little face.

Now, I have pictures that I have had on my camera most of the summer that I am going to go back and post and recap on the last little while.

Right after we got here Mom and Dad did a bbq for a family home evening and we had a blast. There was water everywhere. And in August, that's a good thing :). I think I'm going to have to post more on a different blog....so more in a minute!

Tagged again

2008-09-23T16:51:00.004-06:00

The Rules:-Link the Person who Tagged you- Mention rules on your blog- Tell about 6 quirks of yours- Tag 6 fellow bloggers to do the same- Leave a comment to let them know.

Quirk #1 - I hate losing at any game.
Quirk #2- I want to have every Disney movie in existence.
Quirk #3- I have to use three paper towels when I dry my hands, and then I have to open the bathroom door with the paper towels.
Quirk #4-It drives me absolutely nuts when my husbands eyebrows are not combed.
Quirk #5- I"m fixin' to do things and I say y'all and all y'all (y'all is singular and all y'all is plural).
Quirk #6- Everything is FABULOUS.

I tag Kendad, Kendra, Becky, Somer, Amie and Tiff.